Debbie Altschuler: Why do we hurt ourselves when we're suffering? She says her mother's death was, in many ways, a yourgenesis story and the star of what she called her wild years. When i saw that i was going to lose everything after my mam died, and i did, my family also, really fell apart and was lost. That's when i really turned to heroine. For me, it jus like i had to pass through everything. The image that always comes to mind is one of total destruction.