556. Rewriting Your Personality and Overcoming Anxiety feat. Olga Khazan
unSILOed with Greg LaBlanc
Balancing Conscientiousness and Life's Joys
This chapter examines how conscientiousness affects personal life and parenting. It highlights the challenges of managing responsibilities while maintaining a healthy balance to avoid perfectionism and embrace the present.
Are there ways to change your personality? What traits are easier to change than others? How does environment and life events tend to influence the Big Five traits of your personality?
Olga Khazan is a staff writer at The Atlantic magazine and also the author of the books Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change and Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World.
Greg and Olga discuss the concept of personality change, focusing on the Big Five personality traits: openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Olga shares her personal journey of attempting to modify her own traits, the challenges faced, and the various techniques used, such as meditation, improv, and volunteering. They also talk about the implications of personality change in different environments, the heritability of traits, and the broader significance of these changes for personal and professional growth.
*unSILOed Podcast is produced by University FM.*
Episode Quotes:
The case for volitional personality change
12:03; Everyone will change slightly, even if they do not do anything. So you can just, like, buckle up and enjoy the ride, I guess. The maturity principle — like people become less neurotic, more conscientious over time — so those are positive changes, and most of us will kind of enjoy those. But volitional personality change, which is what my book is really about, is trying to make a more pronounced change in a shorter period of time. And the kind of type of thing I am talking about is, like, starting therapy. Like most people, if they have a problem, they do not kind of sit back and say, "This problem will eventually go away, so I am not going to get therapy." You know, they are like, "I want to go see a therapist because I want this process to resolve faster — like, want to get over this problem sooner." And so, it is similar with volitional personality changes: you are noticing a problem in your life, and you are taking steps to change it faster than it would change naturally.
Why extroverts are often happier
22:40: Extroversion is important. Most studies show that extroverts are happier. That's just because they have more social connections... There's just something about being seen by other people, feeling like you're part of a community, feeling like you matter, that is really beneficial for health and can't be replicated by reading a book or watching a TV show.
Neuroticism and safety vs. risk
25:37: Neuroticism will keep you very safe because you will never do anything. But you have to ask yourself whether you want a life where you've never taken any risks. 'Cause that's also part of it.
What improv can teach you about being open
20:37: What improv is really good at is, if you are someone who is very controlling of situations or likes to be in control, it completely breaks you of that immediately because there is absolutely no way to control what's happening in improv. Everything is so made up and so confusing, and so you have to like to be in the moment and just pivot on the spot with whatever's happening. And for me, that really helped with extroversion, but also kind of just some of the parts of me that were kind of not willing to be extroverted.
Show Links:
Recommended Resources:
- NathanWHudson.com
- PersonalityAssessor.com
- Brent Roberts
- William James
- Brian Little
- Dale Carnegie
- How to Win Friends and Influence People
Guest Profile:
Her Work:
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