How to Find Black Socks

I just want plain black socks. That doesn't sound like it should be difficult. I've spent so many hours online searching during the last few weeks. And everything though, oh, this has got the fucking hikers edition insert with a blue strip that comes up your thing with it. So you know what, sock... What foot it is? Oh, every... All socks interchangeable. Who cares? They're all the same. What I don't like is the Nike ones. They like, obviously it's branding. But no one calls you out for theft of a plain black sock. However, do you remember Tony where he had my socks that had like two white straps and it just...