How to Listen to Your Friends

"Therapy really makes us better and it grows us up. It does," she says. "There is a place there at a time, a small moment where we want to surround ourselves on the porch with yes men because we're crying in our cheerios." She adds: "We need to learn how to listen to our friends"

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If you or anyone you know and love has ever had issues with their mental health, you know how painful it can be. As we conclude our “For the Love of Being Seen and Heard” series, we just want to remind you that there's no shame in admitting that you might need a little help. Maybe you’re feeling low, or more anxious than usual, or sad, scared, or just off—anything that feels different or keeps you from flourishing. Our guest today is here to encourage you to take agency over your mental health, and as a therapist herself, she’s here to help us shed those stigmas around seeking help from a therapist or counselor. Lori Gottleib is a renowned psychotherapist, a bestselling author, and a leading voice in the mental health space. Her latest book (which was also a a selection for the Jen Hatmaker Book Club) Maybe You Should Talk To Somebody leads us into her own experiences with the transformative power of therapy and gives answers to those who might have hesitations about beginning this process. Lori and Jen talk about:

Identifying the stereotypes about therapy and debunking them, plus what to expect so that you can a get the most out of your time with a therapist
Developing an attitude that mental health is just as important as physical help and that seeking a therapist is on the same level as getting a check up with a medical doctor toward whole body health
Jen’s personal experiences with therapy - and how she processed pain and betrayal, plus what it looks like to be in active recovery
Becoming aware of and taking responsiblity for our own patterns, actions and responses to life events as it pertains to our mental state and interactions with others

As Lori says, “one thing that therapy will teach you is how to be your real, messy, imperfect, fallible self, but also still love who you are.”

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Thank you to our sponsors!

BetterHelp | Visit betterhelp.com/forthelove to save 10% on your first month!

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Jen Hatmaker BookClub | Vist jenhatmakerbookclub.com and use code READ at checkout $5 off your purchase!

Thought-Provoking Quotes:

“I think a lot of people are maybe afraid to open up to a therapist. They're maybe afraid to say, ‘this is the truth of who I am.’f That's why I really wanted to be open about what I was going through when I went to therapy, because I want people to know that this is a space where we've seen it all, not only as a therapist, but as a person in the world ourselves.” - Lori Gottlieb

“The more you can show the truth of who you are, the deeper your connections will be with the people in your life.” - Lori Gottlieb

“The internet is the most effective short-term non-prescription painkiller out there because it's really something we use to distract ourselves.” - Lori Gottlieb

“The value of therapy is that you get wise compassion; we will hold up a mirror to you and we will help you to see what you haven't been willing or able to see about your role in the situation.” - Lori Gottlieb

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

For the Love of Reconnecting Podcast episode- Rewriting the Stories We Tell Ourselves: Lori Gottlieb

Maybe You Should Talk to Somebody by Lori Gottlieb

Jen Hatmaker Book Club

Aspen Ideas Festival

Dear Therapist Podcast

Guy Winch’s Ted Talk

Lori’s Atlantic Articles

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Workbook

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Journal

Guest’s Links:

Lori’s Website