How Did the Garbage War Start?

In the days before i was using non violent communication, we had the garbage war at our house. As i told you, my youngest son saying, who was your slave? So now, that same son, twice a week, in the days before I was using non-violent communication, he would fight with me over taking out the garbage. Can you imagine so much energy going into just getting the garbage out twice a week because i was making a demand without realizing it? And how did the garbage war start? Simply by my mentioning his name,. How does he accelerate the war? He's in the next room and pretends like he didn't hear me. So now i further the war