I Had to Scoop Up My Poop, Put It in a Tube

I had to send my poop off to a lab. I couldn't take just normal probiotics because it just turned me into a gas factory. The mail wasn't gonna be able to mail it out. So then I put it in my refrigerator with a post-it note that says, hey guys, don't open the box. If you have digestive issues and you don't want to send your fecal matter through the mail, perhaps you'd be looking for some advice.