Were

you crying because you realized you had eth g and it was real? Or were you crying for the laura who didn't know that?

I was absolutely crying for the laura who didn't know that. I wish that that laura had noticed these things earlier and asked for help, so

that i wouldn't have been so hard on myself all the time. I'm

not saying that i wanted to slack off or anything like that, and that's another myth i it's not about slacking off. It's about not pushing myself to the point where i was barely sleeping. Amanda, i was up all night working on my a p calcomb work my a p physics, my a p literature, home work, practising basket ball and volley ball for five hours a day, never ever giving myself a break. I remember one time i actually got in trouble from one of my coaches because during the junior varsity game, i was on the varsity team, instead of watching the game, i was doing my home work cause i was so nervous about getting it done. I must have been the only kid in high school who got in trouble for doing too much home work. So

let's talk about perfectionism for a minute, because that's such a keypoint of your story, is how perfectionism was your coping mechanism. It was your way to sort of stay on top of things. No, i'm going to go a little bit expert on you here, cause you know thatlike, that's what i do. Do it. It's not uncommon. Perfectionism in aitech d for women is one of the most common things that happen together. It's a control thing, right? And i don't mean controling, like i have to be in control of everybody, but it's control, like, i have to be in control of my image. I have to be control of everything i've got lined up. I have to do it best. I have to make sure i am not failing in any kind of way. And i think that perfectionism, a lot of times, is about making sure that we are not looking like we're failing to the rest of the world, right? And i think when you feel like on the inside that you're failing, even though other people can't see it, you have to work harder and harder to keep up with your own expectations, and it becomes perfectionism. I know that both of my kids, who have eight each d in executive functioning issues, they hate to fail. They would rather not do something than fail at it. And that's the kind of thing that happens often with people who have 80 each d. And i don't know, i'm watching you a little bit. Were sitting here, m now you're geting a little cheery. Tell me about this. I

don't need to say anything else. You just summed it up. I relate to your kids. That's taking a chance, trying something new that i might fail at. Doing this podcast. These are huge risks for me. I'm scared. I'm this is a way that i'm pushing myself, rat like, just in life, trying to be ok with not being perfect or failing. We don't want this podcast to fail though, by the way, share tell a friend, but your

expectations may be super high, but we're not going to fail.