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When an Argument Happens, Your System Is Saying, We Don't Know How to Do That.
When a rupture occurs or an argument, here's what your system is saying. If we had caregivers who were neglectful or dangerous and a rupture happens, our system is saying that's life-threateningly dangerous. Our nervous systems are going to resource something called freeze. Freezes, you think of that like deer in headlights, it's tonic immobility,. So half of team sympathetic shows up energy with the other half shutting down. And there's a lot of shame around this response because it literally forces us to shut down.