I've Never Recovered From That Fear

When you were newborn, we were told that there was a small chance you might stop breathing. Likely this would happen when you were asleep, for no known or particular medical reason. The only reassurance was that it probably wouldn't - which is no reassurance at all. I have never recovered from that fear. It fucked me up irreparably. At first i found it impossible to go to sleep listening to your breathing and breathing. And although my mind and body are only very limited tools for your care protection, i have pledged them entirely to that function. If i had not been so exhausted and anxious, i would have raged sobbed. When you started sleeping through, i found myself