289. Loving v. Being Loved and Which Feels Better
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
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How to Create a Feeling of Love for Your Partner
The feeling of love is something we have to create not by thinking about how someone else validates us or performs in relationship with us, but by thinking about them as a lovable being for their own sake. We can't just entirely focus on their performance at a socially constructed role that we are using to validate ourselves. To feel blissfully in love, you have to be thinking blissful thoughts about the other person. And even our thoughts about aren't going to create the feeling of love that we want because it's fundamentally still about us.
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