How the Hell Did This Happen?

"I was barely 15 with this heinous flop of a man I was staying at my friend's house and ended up doing the deed in her parents guest bedroom yikes one minute we're making out in the next thing I know there's a wiener in me how the hell did this happen," she said. "The next day my mom finds out 911 hello she took my keys and phone for literally 365 days and fed me plan B like it was chiclets she told my dad and he was like please use a condom and get an A and math" She continued: "We eventually broke up because we literally couldn't chill and then my BFF at the time also fucked him after