The Decision to Dope

I really wanted to win this year and beat the best in the sport. And at the end of the day, like I don't know, I don't believe they're clean. There's no amount of self belief I can have in myself if if I believe the top guys are doping. So for us to believe that it was completely you by yourself, take me inside that. How did you learn how to do it? Take me inside you inside what actually happened then.