How Do You Build Trustful Relationships?

All along the way Buzz has had tremendous success on the basketball coBuzz Williams is the Head Men’s Basketball Coach at Texas A&M University. Buzz has had quite an experience in his coaching journey. He was a head coach from a very young age. I first learned about him as the head coach at Marquette, then he went over to Virginia Tech, where I first met him in person, and now he’s at Texas A&M. What’s caught my attention and what really blew me away when I met him is his presence. He is somebody who really cares about culture, leadership, character building, life skills, you name it. And, he’s a competitor. Make no mistake, he’s an emotional guy that cares deeply about winning, but he also cares about learning and growing. He’s one of the most curious people I’ve been around, and we actually connected after he read my book and he reached out and gave me some amazing compliments, which really blew me away. Buzz is someone who is constantly learning, constantly looking to grow, and then trying to pour all of himself into his student athletes, his family, his community, and the people he has great relationships with. He’s a heart-centric guy who wears his emotions on his sleeves. He’s thoughtful, he’s intelligent, he’s creative, and he likes to do things a little bit differently. This conversation is unique, it’s different, and I think that’s a testament to Buzz and what he brings to not just the basketball community, but to our society as a whole.

Buzz had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include:

“I want to be famous in my home” (5:45).

“The lives in your home are the ones you have to be held accountable to in a higher regard” (6:20).

“I want our players to see what being a good husband and father is” (9:10).

“I want all of the children to learn all of the facets that come with being a spouse” (9:55).

“I want there to be a route and a rhythm to everything that we do” (15:30).

“I’ve tried to become more purposeful in controlling the offseason” (16:25).

“Leaders become stale and non-existent when they don’t know how to feed themselves” (18:15).

“What do I need to know? What do I not know? Who can help me figure it out?” (19:00).

“We all talk about time management. I don’t think you manage time, I think you manage energy, which is where you are giving your time to” (21:10).

“The best way to figure out where you’re going is to, as best as possible, think of yourself in that next version. What is it that you’re wanting to do and how is it you’re wanting to do it?” (25:10).

“I’m always cautious to never step on anyone’s dream” (26:30).

“You can’t be anything that you want to be. You can be what you earn the right to be” (28:55).

“They print money, but they don’t print time and they don’t print opportunity” (29:30).

“I spend a lot of time at work and I spend a lot of time at home” (31:25).

“You don’t get to your full potential when you’re worrying about the wrong things” (33:25).

“I don’t know if I was ever able to exhaust the best I could be because I was giving energy and emotion to things that, in truth, are just part of the job” (35:10).

“I don’t want what I do to solely be my identity” (36:00).

“I would rather begin to view myself as the steward, [not the coach]” (37:45).

“This is not my program; I’ve just been appointed as the steward of this program for now” (38:10).

“Wisdom is more precious than rubies” (40:00).

“We have become connoisseurs of information” (40:10).

“There is a never-ending supply of knowledge and I want to have a learner’s spirit in everything that I do” (40:30).

“There’s knowledge around us in every possible way. Our job as leaders is how can I take knowledge from a different world and translate it to the world I live in and make the world I live in better” (41:10).

“Wisdom is a completely different category than knowledge. I’m constantly trying to accrue knowledge, but I want to get to the lowest common denominator of that knowledge and see if there’s wisdom that can be applied” (41:30).

“Wisdom is a separator” (41:45).

“Wisdom can be accrued through experience, but wisdom can also be accrued through someone else’s experience” (42:45).

“The smartest people in the world ask the best questions” (48:35).

“What’s running through your mind will always come out in your walk” (49:05).

“I want to be curious about everything” (49:30).

“Always be aware of patterns. Patterns can be good, and patterns can be bad” (52:00).

“I never say no to an opportunity to learn as long as it doesn’t put me in a negative position to neglect my priorities” (53:00).

“The perception of who I am and the reality of who I am, they’re as far as the east is from the west” (53:20).

“I’m super sensitive to the patterns of those around me because I am curious” (54:40).

“You can control your thoughts, your actions, your attitude, your reactions. Most of the rest of it is out of your control” (55:10).

“The best way to acknowledge someone’s curiosity is their willingness to listen and their willingness to ask good questions” (58:15).

“I want to listen more than I want to talk” (58:40).

“True love has no agenda” (1:00:55).

“What our world needs is more truth telling” (1:03:35).

“I’m cautious to give advice until I have such a relationship with that person that the transparency in the conversation goes both ways” (1:04:00).

“I’m not very good at being. But I think some of your best, most creative ideas come when you are bored. I need to continue to find ways to allow myself to be bored without feeling guilty” (1:09:25).

“If I’m not stronger [in the weight room] than every player on my team, I’m going to retire” (1:11:40).

“Just because I don’t know what I’m going to do, that doesn’t mean I should continue doing what I’m doing” (1:13:45).

“Build trustful relationships for 10 years from now, but learn to connect the dots between now and then. Trustful means you never ask them for anything” (1:17:10).

“I never ask our players for anything other than their best” (1:18:50).

“Is the relationship transactional or is the relationship transformative?” (1:19:15).

“I would never even consider hiring you if I didn’t trust you” (1:22:30).

“The best way to learn is when you have ownership” (1:27:10).

“We want our staff to be an example to our team of what it means to be a team” (1:27:45).

“I write two handwritten thank you notes every day to make sure my heart stays in the right place relative to the spirit I want to carry in my life” (1:29:40).

“I write my kids every day that they go to school” (1:31:15).

“For every mile of road, there’s two miles of ditch. Stay out of the ditch” (1:35:15).

Additionally, make sure to check out Buzz’s website!

Thank you so much to Buzz for coming on the podcast!

I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers.

Thanks for listening.