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Mental Health | Leading Voices

Good Life Project

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How to Get on Stuck

Secondary gain is the unobvious gain from staying stuck somewhere, right? It's not primary gain. It is the hidden benefit or relief or something that you don't even know you're getting from it. So in the situation with my sister, the questions that we ask to reveal secondary gain are: What do i get to not face, not feel, not experience by staying stuck thinking you can save jenna? Ah, i would get to not face the excruciating pain that i couldn't the reality of her situation that was out of my control. And once ruth pointed out what was going on, once i stopped, you know, trying to problem solve and fix as fast as i could

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