The Trauma Narrative of My Dad | 2min snip from Dropping In With Charlie Houpert

Speaker 2
It's so interesting because lately I've been on a, like a genetics is everything kick, where you really get like a frame to view the world through and then you just attempt to look at the world through that frame like all the time. And lately my frame has been just genetics is everything. There's no, and that was just a point of evidence against like, I would have suggested suspected like, oh, maybe you were just felt insecure because you're just genetically proposed to being, it's both like being desperate for the people's approval. But I think this actually, it sounds like if you could actually fix it, then probably it wasn't genetic.
Speaker 1
Yes, yes, I was, he just was here. I mean, I don't want to get all blurry. I did teary, but it might, it's crazy how a small fix in my relationship with him can leave a lasting fullness in me that I was like, oh my God, all of that other shit was just like it was looking in the wrong place. So I don't, I know this is, you know, I've read all your stuff. I'm ready. I'm prepared for this conversation. I know that you don't tend to find those trauma narratives sufficient because of how different your experience was. And you know, you have had very challenging times in your past with your own family. And there's a period of time where viewing yourself as the victim of your story was very detrimental to you. Am I understanding that correctly? Yeah.
Speaker 2
I'll do to be clear, the thing that you described to me about your dad didn't necessarily sound like a trauma narrative. Okay.
Speaker 1
Okay.
Speaker 2
I'm not sure if you were like intentionally comparing the two, but, but also, yes, separately, if you were correct, I'm not
Speaker 1
fine. Got it. Well, so I sort of was my understanding, if I'll do me was that there was a thing that I needed that I couldn't get in the place that I desperately needed and wanted it. And it hurts so bad to not know how and not be able to get it that I shut off connection with, oh, I'm going to go left. And it was like, I'm just going to go right a thousand miles an hour and try to, you know, try to find that need over here. So to me, I do think if there was, you can call it trauma. There was a traumatic split between he and I that when healed had a profoundly positive effect on my life. Does that match your experience or does that not? Because it sounds
Speaker 2
not necessarily.

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