I couldn't enjoy any happy moment because of that guilty filly followed me from somewhere. I feel like even after i came home andd a lot of people pay attention to our stories, and and i had a lot, i made a lot of friends whom i never knew before. And all thes things that they usually enjoy, even birthdays or happy moments, i couldn't enjoy. So when i got out of that payin for time, and then i have a lite rittl pece in me, than immediately that the guilty feeling came to me to bother me. What iffor anybody's, anybody's in pain, including including the defectorswwe met.