Boundary testing and developmental arrest

Full text: https://eggshelltherapy.com/toxic-relationship/

If you have been in a toxic relationship—whether with a partner, a friend, or a parent—with someone who repeatedly hurts you, gaslights you, or manipulates you, you may be familiar with the feeling of being stuck in a loop: betrayal, apology, forgiveness, then betrayal again. They repeatedly violate your trust in ways that leave you questioning reality itself, but then soon beg for your forgiveness with such raw vulnerability that your heart cracks open and guilt floods in. You stay because you think about your shared history, all that you are truly grateful for, and how good it would be if they could change. Then, within days or weeks, they betray your trust again. The shock hits deeper each time because the apology felt so real. The loop just repeats, leaving you increasingly confused, depleted, and emptied from your core.

Most of us are so trapped in cultural stories of unconditional loyalty and forgiveness that we fail to see what truly lies within a toxic relationship loop. Even when you intellectually know that walking away is the right answer, that rightfully protecting yourself is not selfish, every time you try to walk away, you may feel haunted by guilt. We have all been shaped by years of cultural programming that tells us we are abandoning someone if they say they need us and we walk away. We are told that someone who tries their best should be free from blame. We are taught that love means endless second chances, that loyalty requires enduring pain, and that good people never give up on others. But ultimately, relationships without boundaries cannot nourish either side, and love without limits may simply be detrimental to both.

If you have ever felt trapped or is contemplating walking away from something that is not working anymore, I hope this piece can help shift something.

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Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

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