You've got the older women, you've got the older men. Now, children, whatever, they'll become something. So they're of value. The men who are hunters and bring everything, they're of value. The women who are fertile, they're of value. Everyone else, we just is like wisdom. Maybe you have a tribe that respects that kind of wisdom, which unfortunately in America, we don't have this tribe. No, I'm thinking of others. It's too bad. But the older guy, on a tribal level, but especially in a capitalistic culture, which we have. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying because when a man, the older a man, because this is too bad that this pressure is so much on men, but to make a lot of money, you have to have a good, you have to have a title, you have to have something, you know, walk around, you say you're a plumber, which I think is really respectable. And frankly, after Genoa Vai takes over everything, they're going to be one of the few people that actually still have a job. Blue collar people are going to be like, really? Yeah, people who clean hotels. Really, everybody's going to be like, can I have that triangle of sadness? I know what happens when that ship gets wrecked. So, but in our culture, men have established themselves in business, they're making a lot of money. And as they get older, they're doing better at their business, they're making more money. They're seen as a provider, they're seen as somebody who's going to, like, why do we keep wanting men? And I'm just so you know about me, like, I'm not a tear down the patriarchy person at all. I don't give a fuck about sexism. I mean, I'm just like, when somebody's sexist, I just go, oh man, you just show me your entire hand at the poker table. I know that you are so insecure that my mere presence is just, and I'm ever negotiating against this person for something like, you just showed me everything, you just showed me your underbelly. So that's just me personally. So you do give a fuck, but you don't give a fuck in terms of like, I don't clarify that. I just know, no, no, no, for me. It's clear to you what's happening. I mean, I every time a guy is sexist, it just, you know, he's just told me, when they can be sexist too. He's just told me how, yes, of course. He's just told me how very insecure he is. And also, if he's in my way professionally, like, thanks. I like what you just did with your head. I go around, I was like, oh, it's clear you're unavailable because you're, you're racked with, I mean, please see a therapist. Right. I'm going to go to the next person. So yeah, I'm obviously, I'm not going to work with you because you have too much to work on still. Okay. There are certain roles that we want to have filled in our society, in our play, let's say, right? Certain characters, we want certain actors to play certain characters in our play of life. Yeah. Okay. Authoritative guy is one of them. Young, young new guy who has lots of promise. That's one of them. That's why I think that's why you see a lot of perhaps young male directors, perhaps, it's not so much now as it is, it used to be, but perhaps more foster because like, oh, he's filling that role. Yeah. Young Angenie, she's filling that role. Yes. And I don't mean to put this in movie terms, but the mother type who's going to give you a grandmother type or whatever, who's going to give you comfort, like what do you need in your life and who's going to play those parts? Authoritative woman who knows what she's doing. It's like us. It's not, do you see what I'm saying? Do you look at the list of characters and the play, that role doesn't really exist in our culture. So when somebody's being that way, I think it's confusing to people. It's confusing to people because it doesn't fit in these sort of prescribed societal roles that they feel like, oh, no, to get that kind of thing, I've got to have an older guy fill that part. And so back to your question about, is it, why do they make it okay for guys to age? Because the older a guy looks up to a certain point, he can't be decrepit, right? Enhances their value in that role because it suggests they have even more wisdom and guidance and protection of you and money for you, etc, etc, which is irrational. Okay, but I'm going to add on top of that. And this, I don't know how old this trope is, but I also know that men of that age and position are also lauded for having young mistresses or young wives, meaning the fertility, right? The virility, it somehow then becomes part of their worth, right? Like, oh, I mean, I hate to use the language that people, but like he got her, right? Or he could still get that. Okay, so talk about that. What you're saying right there, that's it. What are his, it is further, it's more evidence that he's the guy, that he's the guy that can play that part, not because he's a young woman so much, but he can get the money, right? He can get these women who could have anything, he and he can get what you need to. So it's more evidence that what I can get an ultrasound for ovarian cysts. Because when I think about the things that, and I also, I'm one of those like, I was a very early menopauseer, just overachiever. And so, you know, there's been a lot of thought, you know, that I've been given to this. Why is it menopause instead of mena end? How about womenopause? Well, why is it, you're not pausing anything, it's done. And you know what I mean? It's not a pause button, it's a, we can't just call it a stop button. It's my life. Okay, so I, no, but, but when I think about, you know, I mean, there was it, you know, I've been acting since I was, well, you know, I started acting professionally when I was 11, right? And then, you know, I never looked like leading girl, I started acting in the late 80s, you can do the math, like, all American was still a thing. And I did not look all American. I still don't have been waiting for it to come around. But, you know, there's, there's this notion of like, you're at an age where like, am I going to be the ingenue? And then I left the industry and we're both ruins. You know, when I was at UCLA for 12 years, and the, they're for four, that's amazing. I did my undergrad in my doctorate, it's a long haul. Yes. And, and, you know, what I, when people ask, like, why, one of the most common things that people ask me, why did you leave acting? And it's like, now I can be like, because of this, like, I need to hold up both of your books. And be like, this is why, because I, I had, I had, had the experience of literally being of value for what I provide. And even though I wasn't that, like, leading girl or leading teen, you know, I was holding a show, right, that was named after me, like, I had a whole life of what can I give you? What, what do I look like? And what, you know, what value is that? And I had 12 years of wearing pajamas to school every day. I dyed my hair, whatever color I always wanted to. I pierced my eyebrow because like, I always wanted to like, you know, back then piercings were a thing. And I lived, you know, off of the grid of observation that way. And when I think about what life was like in the late 90s, and, you know, of course, there were girls who, you know, we're starting to get worked out. Of course, people, you know, we're right, but false lashes weren't a thing. So, like, you know, that wasn't an issue. But, you know, the reason that some of us remove ourselves, it's all of this. And I'm like, so grateful that you can articulate it so well, because it, it's very satisfying, you know, it's very satisfying personally. But I think for a lot of people listening to hear it spoken about in a way that doesn't feel defensive. And it doesn't feel like an attack on a system. It feels very, I don't want to say like, you just, I think you're right. Well, here's, here's my goal in my life is to get your goal in your life. Just not tell you my overall goal is to be I want to eliminate all of my buttons, all of them. So I can be in any situation whatsoever. Someone can say anything to me. Come at me in any way. And it's just like, wow, wow, wow, wow. It's like the parents and the parents. How close are you? Are we like, are we there? I'm super close. You have children? Yeah, because they give you more buttons. Oh, well, that I don't even want to. That is, yeah, additional. Do you have male humans or female humans? I have a boy and a girl. Okay. Oh, you got, you get both lessons. But every time I know what my, I know what it feels like to be me, like I know what my, what my track feels like to be on track. I know what that feels like. So anytime I feel like I'm going off track, yeah, like, what's it feeling? Like, where do you feel anybody could, okay, like, let's give an example, like, oh, you went out to you, you put on a pair of pants. Yeah. And you walked out that and you knew as soon as you put them on, you didn't want to wear them. I was trying on pants today and I felt this. You didn't want to wear them, but you kept them on and you wore them all day. Yeah. And your day was like, all day, you're kind of inside of in the back of your head, right? And you got to come home and you're like, okay, all day you were off track. You just want to take your pants off. All day you were off track. Right. So it's, I find it's good to ask myself then, why did I not change them? There's some reason, it's not a rhetorical question. Like, I really want to get, I know women who are three pairs of Spanx, like to go to an event. Okay, that's not comfortable. They're not comfortable. All right, let me give it. Let me give it to you. I know, but I'm agreeing with you. But I'm not even talking about, I can't eat four days before a red carpet. No, I don't mean like that. I mean, just like, like you just wore sweater. Okay, got it. So you don't really like what you're thinking smaller, but you wore it anyway, right? Or someone invited you to go someplace and you said yes when you wanted to say no. You don't know that yet. All you know is you're there. You hate being there. You resent your friend and you're off track and the next day, my whole life. But the next day then to ask yourself, let's back it up. I felt myself until the moment I said yes. Right. Why did I say yes? Now, there's some reason. What were you afraid of? I was going to say, if you let's, let's picture yourself doing the opposite, which is like violet, there's a lot of that pictures of doing the opposite. Mm hmm. You did the opposite. What do you imagine would have happened? That's the fear you were trying to make sure it didn't happen. It's like, oh, well, I'm sure they would reject me and never invite me again. All right. Now, so these people get mad. Well, right now at that juncture, that's an irrational fear. It's not a proven fear. Right. Right. So, it's false. Sometimes you have got to go ahead and say no next time. And then wait and see if what you thought was going to happen happens. But that what you just described, that's the place where I think most of us are not given, we don't know those tools for how to manage what that feels like. That's it just gave it to you. Right. In fact, in the book, in the book, fame, but no, one has to do the work in the book. Fame, I do go into more detail as to how I process like, so the whole face thing, I go into like, how I process that and what my root fear was. It was nothing to do with the skin on my face. Right. It was everything to do with what I so everybody can finish this sentence. I'm afraid of people think I look old then therefore, you think something's going to happen. This got nothing to do with your face. I won't get a maid, I'll lose my job. I won't get a job. People won't listen to me. Whatever it is, that fear there, that completion of that sentence existed in that person before their face started changing. Slow that down. If you have this fear, if your fear about what would happen if you are perceived as old, if your fear is that you will lose status, you will not have the things you want, the people you want, the opportunities that you want, that fear already existed and the you had that fear at 18, right? But possibly younger, younger, you had that fear. And all those that you just said is basically a fear of not being provided for. You're not going to be taken care of. I think you're a therapist. It's very helpful. If somebody's going to do this work and I guarantee you, I guarantee anybody who wants to try this, I guarantee you absolutely 100%, you are going to get free of these things. I'm telling you, I think about the money you will save to not do so much. There's something about just writing out or saying out loud, those irrational fears. And somehow, somehow can't live in the same state after that just starts eroding. And when you're doing that, it's really helpful to, so let's say you're going to do the opposite. You're like, okay, I'm not going to be afraid that none of these things are going to happen for me. I'm going to trust that things are going to work out. And frankly, as we get older, we should be even more trusting because we have more evidence, more things to bring to say, oh, I thought that was going to be a disaster, but it worked out fine. It's really helpful to have some sort of spiritual something, whether you're going to, it can be God for you or the universe or the fucking son, whatever, to just go, I'm going to be taking care. It's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. I don't have to be living in this fear that these things aren't going to happen for me ever. Or just, or just trusting that things work out, things work out. Look at some parts of your life, moments in your life where you thought that was going to be a disaster.