The Internet of Things

This week i read reports that there are things just as scary as corona virus lurking inside the home. I'm pretty sure the wheels of the shopping trolleys are being controlled by alkaida. And whoever's putting smarty's minney eggs by the till is clearly exercising powerful mind control over me and forcing me to buy about 15 bags with every shop. Apparently, 19 million people have a tesco club card. That's nearly two million more than voted for brexet. Imagine the arguments, heartache and division. The country could have been saved if, instead of a referendum, the government had just offered us all 20 pence off a multi pack of twiglets