As a kid, how does that show up in your psyche rather than just focusing on any external manifestation? How do you feel? You're pretending all the time. That's the easiest way to describe it. What's strange is how I very distinctly remember feeling all the time that the world is interacting with you, not as who you are, but as they constantly perceive you. And so then there's a even sort of greater inner part of yourself that doesn't feel seen that isn't seen. and that's maddening.

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