Cult survivor and psychotherapist Dr Martina Zangger on her ten years devoted to an Indian mystic and how she learned to stand on her own two feet.

When Martina Zangger was 19 years old she became a devotee of the Rajneeshee Movement led by the Guru, Bhagwan.

The cult had its headquarters in a huge ashram, built in rural Oregon, and Martina decided she needed to go there to be closer to Rajneesh to find the healing she desperately needed.

She became a sex worker to fund her journey there from Sydney.

In the ashram, Bhagwan directed his thousands of followers to wear purple clothing, work for him for free, and avoid monogamy.

Then one day, Bhagwan suddenly disappeared on a Lear jet taking his collection of diamond-encrusted watches with him.

Martina was left to make a life for herself back in the regular world and to slowly confront the childhood trauma that had led her to join the Rajneeshees in the first place.

Not My Shame is published by Ventura Press.

This episode of Conversations was produced by Meggie Morris, executive producer is Nicola Harrison.

It explores religion, spirituality, spiritual seeking, trauma, childhood abuse, sexual abuse, Osho, Rajneesh, Pune, India, Oregon, Ashram, meditation, cults, healing, immigration, therapy, self confidence, self worth, motherhood, perinatal psychosis, mental health, psychotherapy, psychology, relationship, monogamy, parenting, mothers of daughters, social work, social justice, Wild Wild Country, Netflix, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, guru, mystic, philosophy, spiritual bypassing.

To binge even more great episodes of the Conversations podcast with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

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