Stephanie Coontz: The biggest mistake we can make is let criticism hurt you to the point where you narrow and shrink your drive. When i was a young writer, just moved to new york, i was writing all different kinds o things,. And i had a play going that i was so excited about. But then an older gentleman said, well, it's not a good idea. I wouldn't spend any time on that. It broke me. She says people should be hungry for feedback but don't have to swallow everything.