If you don't make it safe for other peop to share how they feel and what they need, then you won't know. So let me share with you a phrase that i learned from non violent communication. You can use it in two different ways. First, for you, i feel x because my need for y is not being met. But you can also use the phrase in a second way. In the midst of a conflict, you can use a brilliantly simple phrase. And almost always people will stop in their tracks,. even in the middle of conflict, to let you have an attempt at doing that. It's this great now you're talking about the real subject. I think