What our culture teaches us about sex isn’t very useful. Many of us have absorbed the message that sex is a means to some kind of end–orgasm, connection, a baby. We’ve learned that there’s a right and a wrong way to do it. We’ve even learned that sex is natural. It’s no wonder then that when our libido doesn’t match our partner’s or our desires don’t match our politics, we assume there must be something wrong with us. Here’s the real truth: There is nothing wrong with you. Or your partner. So many of us have just been trying to conform to someone else’s narrow version of sexuality (often without even realizing it). If we slow down and take the time, we can instead get to know the sexuality that is uniquely ours and the fulfillment we all deserve.

This week’s guest, Cyndi Darnell, says in her forthcoming book, "The body has always belonged to either God or science. There has never been a time in Western history that the body truly belonged to the person who inhabits it." She says we can begin to reclaim our bodies for ourselves by unlearning the things we’ve been taught about sex that aren’t serving us. By rediscovering our libidos and desires. By learning how to show ourselves to ourselves. By being in our bodies. Cyndi, clinical sexologist & sex & relationship therapist who works with clients all over the globe, is here to tell us how.

Learn more about Cyndi Darnell and her work at CyndiDarnell.com

You can preorder her book, Sex When You Don't Feel Like It: The Truth about Mismatched Libido and Rediscovering Desire at cyndidarnell.com/book

If you want to dive in deeper, consider joining our Relationship Bootcamp or exploring Rebecca's offerings to deepen your relational skills and expand your self-care. Learn more at connectfulness.com

Also, please check out our sister podcast, Why Does My Partner

Mentioned in this episode:

WDMP Integrating Heart+Mind

Joyce Carol Oates Reads John Updike

The New Yorker: Poetry

Exploration of a Poem Depicting Husbands in Hammocks and Political Associations

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