Howdy friends!
This episode hit us in the feels, big time!
Why do friendships change?
We feel that this is such an under discussed topic which has such a profound impact on our well-being.
Join us as we discuss the painful reality of changing friendships!
We discuss the experience of grief that accompanies changing friendships.
The voluntary nature of friendship makes it subject to life’s ebbs and flows in a way that more formal relationships aren’t.
Natural maturation: In adulthood we pour time and energy into jobs, marriage and families.
Friendships change over time because we evolve and change over time, our sense of self also changes and so do our needs.
-This is where we will tend to see uneven balance of “friendship investments”
-I also think this is where we may tend to see shifts in ourselves for what we are willing to tolerate – as we mature we tend to be better at setting boundaries etc
-Learned loneliness: we have adapted to being disconnected and people are not putting themselves out there as much – we have habituated to being more alone.
Vulnerability – vulnerability creates friendships, and it sustains them.
Attachment injury and our internal maps create stories of how we love and relate to people.
So it’s not that people who are securely attached never struggle with relationships, it’s that their perception of relationships is optimistic as opposed to negative or unsafe – people who are secure essentially assume that their friends like them because they have learnt that they can address problems with safe responses.
Close adult friendships are so important to our sense of self and this requires a special kind of nurturance.
We hope you LOVE this episode!
Kat+ Aimee
Reflection Questions:
1. What doesn't feel okay for me in this situation?
2. What is the assumption I have around this?
3. Where in my body am I noticing sensations coming up?
4. If I dig deeper, what might I be afraid to be honest about?
5. What does this say about me?
6. What other reasons could be the case?
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Please note: this episode is for informational purposes only and does not replace personalised psychological advice.
