The Avoider or the Vacillator

The avoid or vacillator is one of the most painful combinations and one of the ones most likely to come into therapy. It's like, Oh, hello, male. How are you? You're the first thing I want to see when I come home. And it's something that's not just today. Oh no, it's every day. Every single day. The void or vacillators have been dying for it. They've idealized it. Their need for that idealistic connection comes from their wounds. If two people are willing to look at those and work through them, the court pattern will go away.

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