What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?
Before I had kids I literally had no real idea of what I should expect. I think that's partly why I have spent the years as a mother panicking and reading everything; having learnt that I was wrong about how complicated the job is.
Susie and I are in a similar stage with our kids but feel differently about it, so I thought it would be lovely to bring her in to have an open, honest conversation about how the stages unfold and what it really feels like for us.
What do you think? Send me a message on teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
Ellen Galinsky's six stages of parenting:
Nurturer - Birth to one year
Your baby learns that they are safe and the more they find their needs met the more confident they'll become as a youth.
Boundaries - Ages one to five
Children start to test boundaries. They need to be clear and consistent. When you set a boundary it needs to be the same every time, and the consequences need to be applied consistently.
Training the Heart -Ages six to twelve
You begin answering questions about boundaries and consequences, and putting them in context with the way society works. It's important to listen to your child, and respect their opinions.
Coaching - Ages thirteen to eighteen
Give advice but allow the child to make the ultimate decision. We also have to allow our children to suffer the consequences of bad decisions. Nagging, or constant correction, will just cause our kids to tune our voice out.
Mentoring - Ages eighteen to job or marriage
Refrain from telling them what they should do and from judging the decisions they make. Understand - and treat them - as if that they are capable of solving their own problems. Our job is to offer advice when asked and not to judge. Be curious.
Friendship - Job or marriage and beyond
Now our kids are established as adults it's time to tone down the parenting and allow them to be our equal. The one key thing to remember is that they will always crave our unconditional love and acceptance, regardless of how old they become.
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I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
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You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk
