538: Dr. Julie Gurner - Setting High Standards, Being Relentlessly Resourceful, Achieving Huge Results (Compared to Wendy Rhoades of "Billions")
The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk
How to Help Someone Write Their Own Story
I try to tap into areas for example if someone's hesitant to take a certain risk but they know that it's the right risk to take so we'll start with that I'll say tell me about times you've taken risk in the past where you felt similarly right. Once you kind of begin to reflect on history and look at when I knew in my gut it was right and I took the chance it paid off well now it's kind of looking silly, he says. He adds: "Fear holds a lot more detriment to our future in our own mind's eye"
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Speaker 2
that an exercise you actually do getting back to writing their own story do you have them write this down or let's get practical for a second what is a way that you help them write this story is it's a physical exercise you do
Speaker 1
but usually not I mean I have done it in the past with some folks but I'll ask them to like well let's talk about I try to tap into areas for example if someone's hesitant to take a certain risk but they know that it's the right risk to take so we'll start with that I'll say tell me about times you've taken risk in the past where you felt similarly right so they'll say oh I've I've done this I've done that and they'll tell me about their wins they'll tell me about the moments they were uncertain but they knew in their gut it was right and it was the right call and so once you kind of begin to reflect on history and look at when I knew in my gut it was right and I took the chance it paid off and we start to see it once twice three times well now it's kind of looking silly that you're in exactly the same space you have exactly the same gut feeling and you're still feeling a little uncertain what does that signal to you and usually people are like yeah you're right I didn't think about it that way we reflect when we're uncertain oftentimes we're looking to validate the uncertainty instead of looking to validate the risk and so because fear holds a lot more detriment to our future in our own mind's eye then looking through a better lens so I'm intentionally trying to shift that lens into something that's going to be productive but also accurate for them I'm not blown smoke I'm not like if they said hey every time I felt this way and I took the risk it failed I wouldn't be saying oh but you should do it this time like that would not be my position but I do try to look for instead of through the lens of hesitation and fear and confirming that I look to confirm other things that may be equally or more accurate and help them to see their own history and potential in a different way one
Speaker 2
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Dr. Julie Gurner is a doctor of psychology and is a nationally recognized executive performance coach for individual and corporate clients primarily in finance and technology. Trusted by top percentile talent and their teams to help them achieve world-class performance in fast-paced, high-pressure, extremely competitive environments. She's been compared to Wendy Rhoades of "Billions" in The Wall Street Journal (2019), and named a “Game Changer” by IBM.
Notes:
- High Standards: Holding a high bar is uncomfortable because it is "exclusionary," and most people want to make everyone around them happy & comfortable. If you hold a standard, it can't include everything... Figuring out your line & holding to it, will mean some tough conversations.
- “I think that there are two ways of looking at things that have happened to you. You can be a victim or you can be a survivor. Those are two very different cognitive positions."
- Balance: “People will tell you in books that you have to live a “balanced life,” but if we are completely honest, almost all great things are born from periods of imbalance.”
- Staying Small: A concept I believe, is that most people stay small, or don't go for what they truly want...because they believe that "imaginary rules" are true
- Be a Learner: The worst professionals, are the ones that stop learning the moment they graduate from school. And they are the majority. Being autodidactic - a self-learner - who also takes initiative, will have you in the top 10% of anything you take on.
- Goals: If your goals are "realistic," you are operating in a box. Check yourself. "If you want to be a game changer, you can’t blend in."
- Know Yourself: When people are unable to commit to anything, it’s because they don’t know who they are. Shiny objects professionally (or personally) reflect a lack of certainty.
- When you get a genuine shot in the arm from what you do...of course, it's going to be hard to stop doing it. You're on fire. So many people are living their lives with the volume turned down. They don't get it. You don't have to live that way. Crank that energy up.
- "The people who rise aren't always the most talented or capable, but they are fueled by self-belief. Once you understand that, much of the business world makes sense."
- The difference between persistence and tenacious… persistent people stick to the plan to get to the goal. Tenacious people may change their plans altogether.
- A trait in the people who go on to do great things? Paul Graham defines it as being “relentlessly resourceful.” I see it all the time. Here’s a practical zero-to-one process to be relentlessly resourceful, if you want to set yourself up for some big swings.
- Julie goes on a daily walk around her farm. She uses that walk to reflect, think, and be outside. It helps her synthesize information.
- What makes a great executive coach?
- A sweet spot between talking and listening... A great executive coach gives their clients space to talk. They listen. They ask great follow-up questions. They help unlock people. They help them become multipliers.
- How to deal with imposter syndrome?
- "You probably have the ability, but you're not understanding your own story." It's important to keep taking chances. To keep meeting the moment. Julie helps her clients tap in to and write their own stories.
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