Are You Getting Skittish?

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There is a lot of tension that we feel and anxiety we feel about just going up to strangers and initiating a conversation or request, or even a compliment. And so i'd say you could even start, if you're not just asking for things wight. You could ask for, as i said, direction, something small piece gum. You could even start by going up and giving random strangers compliments and sort of exercise that muscle of just interacting with people more excellent. Especially as we come out of the pandemic and we forget what it's like to interact with others.

Vanessa Bohns talks about how all of us have hidden influence and how we can use it effectively.

— YOU’LL LEARN —

1) Why we end up underestimating the willingness to say yes

2) How to get more comfortable with asking

3) How to say no without feeling guilty or awkward

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— ABOUT VANESSA —

Vanessa Bohns is a social psychologist, an award-winning researcher and teacher, and a professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University. She holds a PhD in psychology from Columbia University and an AB in psychology from Brown University.

Professor Bohns has been a Visiting Scholar at the NYU Stern School of Business and has taught at the University of Toronto's Rotman School of Management. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times and Harvard Business Review, and her research has been published in top academic journals in psychology, management, and law, and featured by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Economist, and NPR's Hidden Brain.

Her first book, You Have More Influence Than You Think, will be published in September 2021. She lives in upstate New York with her husband and two daughters.

• Book: You Have More Influence Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Power of Persuasion, and Why It Matters

• Twitter: @profbohns

• Website: VanessaBohns.com

— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW —

• Study: "The really fundamental attribution error in social psychological research" by Sabini, J., Siepmann, M., & Stein, J

• Blog: Rejection Therapy with Jia Jiang

• Book: Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott

• Book: Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want by Nicholas Epley

• Book: Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection by Jia Jiang

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