I think you've done a wonderful job of cultivating the life in which you thrive. I'm not saying throw that life away. But what i'm saying is that your identity, as long as you derive your identity from shining in moments of chaos, your identity will be based upon shining in those moments of chaos. So so the crazy thing is that i'm telling you, bro, i have faith that if you don't have those shining moments of chaos,. You will discover that you are still yourself and that you don't need those things. And when you don’t need those things any more, then you wil be in control. And your mind won't. Because right now your