How to Overcome Introvertness

Vanessa: Do you still have moments like that where you approach a room or a person and your nerves are getting the better of you a little bit? I want you to write down the people places and things or topics that make you thrive. These could be specific people in your life like your wingman or wingwoman, your best friend partner someone who when you're with them you aren't even thinking about awkwardness. Jenny: The post happy hour probably at big rooms with random people looking for someone to talk to makes my heart beat faster.

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Did you know that we can predict a leader’s charisma based solely on five seconds of exposure? That nonverbal signals account for 65 to 90 percent of our total communication?

Today we’re talking about cues, specifically the formula for charisma (hint: a combination of cues that project warmth and competence).

As a self-described “recovering awkward person,” Vanessa’s secret sauce is combining the latest research, real-life case studies of success, and fascinating examples of notable figures (like Oprah and Britney Spears) with practical strategies you can start using immediately.

More About Guest Vanessa: Vanessa Van Edwards is a speaker, researcher, and national bestselling author. More than 50 million people have seen her engaging YouTube tutorials and in her viral TED Talk, You Are Contagious. Vanessa is Lead Investigator at Science of People. She is the bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People, translated into 16 languages. Today we’re talking about her new book, Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication.

Key Takeaways:

Your all-important first impression starts at the very first moment of an experience with someone: when you walk into the room, or when the camera flips on, and not with the first word you speak.
We all have patterns for when we feel awkward and out of place, which are not the ingredients for charismatic communication. But we also have patterns for when we are at our most confident and natural. Tracking those and taking advantage of them to give yourself more comfort and ease in your communications can immediately increase your charisma.
It’s extremely hard to lie with your voice, so spending time (and creating the best environment) for your body is going to make your competence and warmth much more evident in the subtle cues of your voice.

⭐️ Permission: Skip the happy hour! Drop the scheduled phone calls! Think about the times and places where you feel the happiest and most confident, and engage with people then, instead of sticking to the ‘normal’ times and places you feel you should.

⭐️ Do (or Delegate) This Next: Practice “I see you” acknowledgments when you first start talking to people in person or over video. A wave, a nod, or a smile all show the people you are talking to that they belong.

📘Books Mentioned: