The Importance of Mutual Agreements in Building Cat Shelves

Ash and Cam dig deeper into the being misunderstood theme by looking at the very unique ADHD phenomenon of trying to explain our ADHD when our ADHD is acting as a roadblock to new awareness and learning. Cam uses an example shared by a Patreon/Discord member on how she struggles with this challenge. The member illustrated the difference between “front” emotions and “underlying” emotions and how it is hard for her to get to the underlying emotion or need. She shares several examples - one of which where she thinks she is bored with company (front) but in actuality she is physically tired (underlying). Understanding this distinction allows her to better understand her ADHD so she can then articulate her needs to others. Getting to the emotional nuance and awareness is an ADHD challenge just like emotional regulation. So often we feel compelled to explain ourselves without fully knowing what is going on “under the hood.”

Ash continues the thread by sharing a humorous at times story about his partner wanting to install cat shelves late at night. What ensues is how the drama plays out in a series of misunderstandings for two individuals with ADHD. Ash finishes with sharing how clear communication leads to understanding, new agreements and appreciation and trust.

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