When I think of my own struggles in this, when I don't want to do something but agree to do it anyway, it's some of it's because I justDon't want to be nice. We like to think of ourselves as helpful and good people. And so it can really rub against that to say no sometimes. In many ways, we have never been taught to say no. Women especially were socialized to be much more obliging and giving of themselves to others. So you're more likely to say yes when you want to says no.