Transformative Experiences at a Men's Retreat

This is a rebroadcast. The episode originally ran in June 2021.

Mike Houghtaling was raised in Bellevue, Washington, and Raleigh, North Carolina, and served in the Argentina Cordoba Mission. He and his family have lived in Georgia for over 30 years. Since entering recovery, he served as a bishop’s counselor, a high councilor, and at the time of this recording was serving as the bishop of the Fayetteville Georgia YSA Ward. He worked for the Federal Aviation Administration for 37 years, most of those as an air traffic controller, retiring in 2019. Mike and his wife Andrea have five children and seven grandchildren. Mike tries to work his recovery just one day at a time.

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Read the transcript of this podcast

Highlights

Mike candidly shares his decades-long struggle with pornography addiction and the profound impact it has had on his life and leadership. He describes how the addiction served as an escape from underlying emotional difficulties rooted in his childhood, highlighting that pornography is often a symptom of deeper unmet needs rather than the core issue.

A pivotal turning point came when Mike hit rock bottom after his wife discovered his secret. This led him to the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP). He emphasizes that recovery is an ongoing lifestyle, not a quick fix, and involves addressing the underlying wounds that fuel addictive behaviors.

After years of sobriety, Mike was called to serve in various leadership positions. Throughout these callings, he has been remarkably open about his past, aiming to build trust and demonstrate that God’s love and healing are available to everyone.

Mike offers valuable advice for leaders. His story is a powerful testament to the possibility of healing and the transformative potential of vulnerability and understanding in leadership.

Highlights
00:04:52 – Description of Mike’s YSA Ward
00:05:48 – Mike’s Personal Story
00:07:38 – Spiritual Wounds from Imperfect Relationships
00:10:27 – Development of Shame and Addiction
00:12:23 – Early Bishop Interactions & Unhelpful Advice
00:16:16 – Analogy: Quitting Smoking vs. Pornography
00:18:18 – Realization: Pornography Isn’t About Sex
00:19:15 – The Nature and Root Causes of Addiction
00:20:14 – Sobriety vs. Recovery
00:20:32 – Leadership Focus: Behavior vs. Underlying Wounds
00:22:33 – Rock Bottom
00:26:40 – Hope: Bishop Suggests ARP Program
00:29:03 – Deepening Involvement in 12-Step Recovery
00:32:36 – Recovery Strategy: Face It, Replace It, Connect
00:35:18 – Called as Bishopric Counselor
00:39:16 – Called as YSA Bishop
00:39:53 – Openness About Past with Leaders and Ward
00:42:53 – Purpose of Sharing Story: Connection, Not Attention
00:44:06 – Advice for New Bishops: Learn About Addiction (Attend ARP/AA)
00:53:58 – Advice for Friends/Family: Love, Grace, Connect
00:55:45 – Support for Spouses/Children of Addicts (The “True Victims”)
00:56:06 – Leaders: Support Spouses
00:58:04 – Better Follower of Christ = Better Leader

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