We experience the illusion anyway, that we are managing and controlling our feelings. Then when something like a profound loss happensa death of someone who is so important to us, that illusion evaporates. And as you mention, they're they're messy and complicated and confusing and overwhelming. I guess we're taken by storm. That might be why we don't want to engage, we don't wants to take the lid off,. because if we see what's underneath there, it all feels too intimidate and overwhelming. Is that right? I think that's absolutely right.