How Do You Get Your Skin Under Your Skin?

I did not question myself in this way until I kind of woke up to how much harm it was doing and I was willing to examine my role in it role in it without shaming myself. My husband operates who's a very different personality than mine and he nothing that anyone else does ever gets under his skin so his advice for anyone who's upset or heard about something is like grow up don't let it get under your skin which works for him but doesn't work for me. There are a lot of people that are not ready not skillful enough to speak with us in a way that's supportive and empowering because they don't have our experience.