Struggling with Money and the Importance of Holding Every Experience

[00:01:12] So today I'm talking to Sarah. Sarah, where are you at in the world?

[00:01:15] sarah: [00:01:15] I am in Jupiter, Florida.

[00:01:17] dane: [00:01:17] Whoa. Jupiter's like 3 billion miles away, isn't it?

[00:01:23] sarah: [00:01:23] The planet?

[00:01:26] dane: [00:01:26] It's crazy. Like Mars. There's 130 million miles Jupiter, 3 billion.

[00:01:32] sarah: [00:01:32] 3 billion at that same bar. Jupiter, Florida seems like that far away from things.

[00:01:40] Well,

[00:01:40] dane: [00:01:40] I just think how far away Mars is and how long it takes to get to, and then it's like, okay, just to break your brain, here's something like 30 times farther away

[00:01:49] sarah: [00:01:49] and grasp that comes up to, to tell you the truth.

[00:01:51] dane: [00:01:51] Yeah. So I was fascinated with it. Clearly. What's your big goal for the call today?

[00:01:55] sarah: [00:01:55] Just a little perspective.

[00:01:57] I think I'm really just getting started on [00:02:00] front of being able to finally do something for myself or as a family. We're making changes in order for us to be able to build our own business. I have kind of a direction, but I really just would love all the expertise that I can get from folks that know better than a more.

[00:02:15] dane: [00:02:15] That's wonderful. So what's your goal with having a business? What are you ultimately after.

[00:02:20] sarah: [00:02:20] Ultimately I want to be able to provide value to people while also being able to provide for my family. You know, first and foremost, I want to be able to do something that allows me to spend time with my family.

[00:02:35] I think that's what a lot of our goals are. We want to be able to travel, and I want to do it in an honest way. I've done a lot of things. I've done nonprofit, I've done sales, and I just want to do something. That speaks my truth and provides value to customers and to clients. Kind of like a mutual thing that everyone kind of feel good about.

[00:02:54] That makes sense.

[00:02:55] dane: [00:02:55] Yeah, that sounds wonderful. How is it to share that?

[00:02:58] sarah: [00:02:58] I mean, it's great. Like I've done a lot of work for other people and I've always wanted to work for myself and my own business and I've always been held back because of, you know what? If you fail and you know you have to worry about this, and it feels really good to finally be pursuing that.

[00:03:14] And I have kind of like a. I guess a starting point and I want to see where that can expand and how I can really further on that. Cause I'm actually going back to working in financial services and getting my insurance license again. But I think that there's so much more to it than selling products.

[00:03:29] There's so much more to it than just that. And I think that I can provide real value if I can find a niche in that market and be able to provide, you know, something great for clients.

[00:03:39] dane: [00:03:39] Okay. So are you wanting to focus on the insurance business.

[00:03:42] sarah: [00:03:42] Yeah. That's where I want to do financial planning and life insurance is kind of what the core of my business is going to be.

[00:03:49] I'd like to look at coaching, maybe videos. My focus is on women and women owned businesses and families is, it's not really focused on a lot by financial people. It's a [00:04:00] very male dominated organ industry. You know, a lot of times it's like, Hey, your husband should get a million dollars in license insurance and your wife can get 500,000 even though she's,

[00:04:09] dane: [00:04:09] yeah, sure.

[00:04:09] So I want to tell you a couple of things and I just want to see what the impact is. Yeah, so let's see how clear this is on its own. Okay. A technician with expertise trades time for money, no matter if they're an employee or anyone else. An entrepreneur trades time for freedom. That is a technical term called equity.

[00:04:33] So technicians trade time for money. Entrepreneurs. Trade time for equity. Technicians get licenses, certifications, degrees, become neurosurgeons, become astrophysicists, entrepreneurs, learn about humans, what results these humans want, and then hire teams that have the licenses to build the result that the people want.

[00:05:00] So your orientation of business at this present time is for you to build a level of expertise with some technical craft to then offer your time for money that would get you a home more, but your income is somewhat tied to, if not all, but tied to how much time you spent. Yeah. Tell me what starts happening and all the things happening in your brain hearing this.

[00:05:25] sarah: [00:05:25] So what's funny is in preparation for this today, I was kind of perusing the foundation websites and the videos that I've watched or remembered, kind of just to refresh my memory and I watched the marketing levels that you did, is so funny. I was just thinking about this with what I'd like to do, and it's.

[00:05:43] I think I have this claim to safety, even though, again, like I said, we're arranging our lives kind of so that we can take this risk and I know that their safety, at least in a short term, and doing it that way and how, you know, I have my feet on both sides of the aisle. I guess I want [00:06:00] to try to have that.

[00:06:01] Okay. How can I start as a technician but make it into an entrepreneurship? And I'm not sure. Maybe I can't. Maybe I have to look

[00:06:06] dane: [00:06:06] at it. Well, it's good that you're asking the question. Yeah, and I'm going to say something that could be risky for me to say. Entrepreneurship is not a risky, it's, in my opinion, it is so much safer than being a technician and so much safer than being an employee.

[00:06:25] It is the knowledge and the orientation that you hold that makes it risky. Entrepreneurship itself isn't actually the risk. It's what you know. And what your orientation is.

[00:06:39] sarah: [00:06:39] Cause I always, I know I have the faith in myself and I have a bad habit of listening to other people tell me to be careful.

[00:06:48] dane: [00:06:48] Oh, sure.

[00:06:49] So I'll tell you, when I was 22 I decided I wanted to go into business for myself. And so I started telling people and they all told me the same things that people are telling you. I just didn't listen to them, but the only reason I didn't listen to them, it's because I had books that I trusted. What happened is instead of listening to the world, I listened to the books.

[00:07:11] I didn't care what anybody's told me. I mean, especially if they don't have any results to speak of, like if they're not living a result that I want, then bike there. There's some part of my body, it just wouldn't even believe it. But where I think why I want to go with you on this, and this is a completely anonymous, people just really know your first name, so it's a good place to be vulnerable and look at the stuff that really needs to be seen.

[00:07:34] Because if we don't believe in ourselves, it'd be very easy for someone to sway us off course. They might not even have to say anything. They could just breathe on us, but if we don't believe in ourselves, it's going to look like it's them stopping us. It's going to look like they're scaring us out of it.

[00:07:52] There's something crazy that my mentor said to me and he said, you know, Dana, at first we think our emotional reactions are [00:08:00] coming from other people. We think our fear is coming from the other people saying it to us, but what they're really doing. Is waking up the fear that's already inside of you

[00:08:11] sarah: [00:08:11] and a therapist tell me something very similar.

[00:08:13] dane: [00:08:13] That's good. Who are the similar territory? So there's almost always good news. And the good news about this is that if we don't believe in ourself, that in and of itself is only a thought. Try and say out loud, I believe in myself and see what happens.

[00:08:32] sarah: [00:08:32] I believe in myself. I know it still feels weird. I did this exercise again with the therapist that I worked with for awhile, and I know it's some thing that both reading daily and I haven't entered it into my practice and it's, you know, just one of those others.

[00:08:47] Got to do it. Gotta do it.

[00:08:49] dane: [00:08:49] So is your mind racing a little bit? So we want to slow that mind down by just letting it race without buying into it racing. So there is a linchpin that I feel with you. That if we look at and focus on, see, I've got like 30 other podcasts episodes now that you'll be able to listen to, that will all give you the business knowledge that you need.

[00:09:15] You'll get all of them over time, but they won't be effective without us looking at this linchpin. And the linchpin is this thing. When you pull it out, everything else falls in. All we need to do is get you connected to feeling that you actually don't believe or haven't been believing in yourself as the root thought that it has actually been guiding everything this whole time.

[00:09:43] It's why you didn't go into business when you wanted to. It's why you're doing it the way you're doing it now. It's why it's taken so long and this is a perfectly normal thing. There are many, many people, myself included, all struggled to believe in ourselves. It's a very [00:10:00] human thing. If you'd like to get a free one on one with me and beyond this show, you can find out details@startfromzero.com forward slash podcast.

[00:10:11] And if we can just get you connected to the experience, like, Oh, it's that simple. I didn't believe in myself. And would you say it's somewhat true that this looks true and reflection and also that you're just now starting to, which is why you're looking at business again?

[00:10:29] sarah: [00:10:29] No, you're right on track. I think for the first time in my life, I've actually sought out mentors, and it's been a really interesting experience because that's the resounding thought from them, from a therapist that I worked with.

[00:10:44] You know, you have to believe in your abilities, and they do. I work with someone right now.

[00:10:50] dane: [00:10:50] Yeah. You don't have to believe, Sarah. If you think you have to believe and you don't believe this creates an internal conflict, what you need is to honor that you don't believe, because the thing that notices this, there's an aspect of you that has to be watching.

[00:11:10] There's something in you that can see that you don't believe otherwise. You wouldn't be able to see it and talk about it. That part of you is way beyond believing. It's like, yeah, I believe in myself and more. I don't even understand the concept of belief. It's just inherent. There's a part of you that's beyond belief.

[00:11:26] You're like, yeah, just life works. This works. Everything's fine. That part of you doesn't need any convincing. It already is there. What needs to happen and what most people don't know. Even licensed therapists don't know. Is that the experience of not believing in yourself that does not need fixing. It does not need healing.

[00:11:46] It does not need changing. It does not need correcting. It does not need mantras. It does not need successful examples. It just needs to be felt. And scene and loved. [00:12:00] So you just allow yourself to feel, Oh, I guess I don't believe in myself and don't try to do anything about it and let the part of you that does hold it without doing anything.

[00:12:11] And just to try that for like a minute. It could be a pretty profound experience, like as you're doing it, you could feel your brain like sluggish. You might feel your chest get tight. You might want to run away. Actually, is there a part of you that wants to maybe run away right now. Yeah.

[00:12:29] sarah: [00:12:29] It's a little bit of that, you know, Sperling feeling you get sometimes for sure, but it definitely just very much resounded with me very strongly, what you just said and yeah, I definitely moved and it's hitting me.

[00:12:43] dane: [00:12:43] Good. Your voice is much deeper and even more relaxed. Just allow yourself to not believe. There's nothing wrong with not believing in yourself. It's just an experience.

[00:12:56] sarah: [00:12:56] We get so bogged down on that.

[00:13:02] Oh,

[00:13:06] dane: [00:13:06] so why didn't you just read books and listen to those instead of other people? Why didn't you start sooner? Well, people scared you all. You got married. Oh, you had a kid. These things are all lies, all lies. That seems so true that you might even be angry at me for saying you're like, no, this is definitely why.

[00:13:28] When really you could have done it this whole time, but it's okay that you didn't, it's just good to see that you could have done it this whole time. Somewhere out there, there is a woman who. God married, had a kid that's two years old, had people tell her to be careful, and she still started a business.

[00:13:45] And this might be hard to hear, but this is the kind of stuff that will turn your warrior spirit on where you're like, dammit. And it is actually one of the most difficult things in my life and for people or for us to be extremely brutally honest, like total [00:14:00] radical responsibility. Yeah, I hate me at all.

[00:14:03] sarah: [00:14:03] No, not at all. You know, it's so, life is so funny. You have an, you make all these excuses and I hate excuses, and I always think of. Hey, this is my reason as an excuse, is it? Whatever. Cause also had heart surgery and I couldn't apply for insurance. Like there's all these other factors, right? That I use to forgive myself for not doing those things.

[00:14:26] And so the first thing in the first place my mind goes to is, well, you couldn't because of X, Y, Z, and that's fine. And now you're here and it, you know, let's not think about that. Let's just go forward. But it's true. If you just kind of. If you don't acknowledge what's already been and where maybe you did fail and that's not a problem, how are you going to move forward and how are you gonna do better?

[00:14:46] dane: [00:14:46] Oh, did you say where you did fail? Does it feel like you have failed

[00:14:50] sarah: [00:14:50] sometimes? Not always. I think, and the only reason I even use the word failures because I feel like there were so many opportunities where I let my circumstances control what I did and how I chose, instead of really speaking my own truth and doing what I know, what it made me happier and more successful.

[00:15:09] So it does feel like a failure in some way, but I don't, you know, failure is a dirty word to a lot of people, but I don't feel like it's necessarily,

[00:15:15] dane: [00:15:15] you're not beating yourself up with it.

[00:15:17] sarah: [00:15:17] Not beating myself up over it,

[00:15:19] dane: [00:15:19] honestly. Objectively. Well, I failed to actualize my potential in that circumstance.

[00:15:23] sarah: [00:15:23] I think I've been doing that a lot.

[00:15:25] I have a hard time letting my light shine. I got taken down notches by people all through life because I was too bright. I did too. You know, whatever. And so it's one of those things that's something that I struggle with. I'm very, I'm kind of impasse, like I'm one of those people that just feels things.

[00:15:44] I'm a feeler, so, yeah. But I mean, I, I hear you and it's really like, it's very much touching me and making me see things a little bit differently.

[00:15:54] dane: [00:15:54] I'm grateful to hear that cause I was like, Oh, has my head going to get ripped off here at any moment? Because I had a coach [00:16:00] like three years ago.

[00:16:04] If you'd like to hang out with people reading the star from zero book, listening to the start from zero podcasts, listening to the book on tape and build businesses with them and do it with people together, visit start from zero.com forward slash starters.

[00:16:22] And she just looked me straight in the eye and she says, Dane, you struggle with worthlessness issues. You don't feel worthy. And I was like, screw this woman. And I was going to like rip her face off because clearly I struggled with those. But it's still like, you know, if you're not ready to hear it, you can't.

[00:16:40] But so it's good. I'm happy to hear that. So now let's just sit with, I have trouble letting my light shine and without trying to shine your light without trying to fix that. Let that shine. Let all of you shine, including the difficulty that you have shining. Can you feel that you're here for a big purpose?

[00:17:02] Yeah. Just let yourself connect to that. Like the ache of what being here for a big purpose and the way that you've been trying to fix or counteract or build up confidence is it all needs to change, in my opinion, and there's a realm that you can live in where this stuff becomes effortless. By doing the difficult work of allowing, especially what you don't want to allow.

[00:17:25] Sure. But I mean, over here on this side, I can feel the size of your mission. I can feel like the karmic size of it.

[00:17:33] sarah: [00:17:33] Yeah.

[00:17:34] dane: [00:17:34] Yeah. I can feel it over here.

[00:17:35] sarah: [00:17:35] Yeah. It's definitely, it's heavy and light at the same time.

[00:17:41] dane: [00:17:41] Yeah. I can only imagine mother Teresa's experience. Not that you'd have to bear that and maybe it's on that level, but there is no ego in the karmic mission that you have. If you guys feel as they don't believe in karma, it's fine. The God given mission. I don't want my words affect your belief systems and then not listen.

[00:18:00] [00:18:00] Just whatever the universe, God, spirit, what you were born with to do. Sarah has no ego in it and it just so happens to be of a size that might make it think that there is ego in it. But there is no ego and wanting to be an entrepreneur. There's no ego in wanting to be rich. There's no ego in wanting financial freedom.

[00:18:23] Being rich means you take great care of your family. It means you don't look at gas prices every day. It means you don't look at prices of anything. It means you have maids and assistance and focus on your children experiencing joy and learning responsibility and cultivating discipline and spending time building homes in third world countries and whatever it is.

[00:18:44] There's no ego in the desire to be rich. If it's really in you, it's like, you know, I just really want to be rich.

[00:18:51] sarah: [00:18:51] Yeah.

[00:18:51] dane: [00:18:51] You know, I want to be rich because I love money. I really love money. And you know, they say like, so love of money is the root of all evil. That's not love. That's attachment.

[00:19:03] sarah: [00:19:03] Yeah.

[00:19:03] dane: [00:19:03] Love of money means you're okay if it comes and you're okay.

[00:19:07] If it goes, I love money, I'm okay with it coming into my life and I'm okay with it going out of my life. I love it, and I love having it. I love what it can do for me. Yeah, that's awesome. That inner congruence.

[00:19:25] sarah: [00:19:25] Yeah. There's so much shame and guilt around money, and I think I grew up with not a lot of it, so I have a lot of that kind of like trauma, money-related trauma and, but no, every, that has always been a deep desire of mine.

[00:19:39] And it's. Giving yourself permission to admit that and seek it, feeling it, and writing it down.

[00:19:46] dane: [00:19:46] So there is a place that you can access that is beyond permission. It can be really tricky to find, but at a certain layer, it's like, okay, I love money. Okay, that's difficult to mention. I've got conditioning around money, [00:20:00] so I need to give myself permission.

[00:20:02] Well, that's if you're trying to fix the current feeling of it being difficult, if you just allow. It to be difficult. Try it right now. So you say you love money and that's difficult without trying to give permission or fix or change that feeling. Just hold it fully. Hold it as full as you can, as real, a very real feeling, but not true.

[00:20:23] Real, but not true to you. Just give that a moment. Try it

[00:20:25] sarah: [00:20:25] out. It's funny because as students even started down that path, I'm like, it's the same thing as we were just talking about with the belief system. CNO

[00:20:34] dane: [00:20:34] hold is real but not true. What happens is you do like the difficulty you hold is real but not true.

[00:20:40] sarah: [00:20:40] It feels less true.

[00:20:41] dane: [00:20:41] And then how about that desire to try to give yourself more permission. Ah,

[00:20:49] so it's a good to notice this cause we have it. We have these experiences that we try to change, fix, correct. Control that. Just want a little attention. My mentor says our thoughts or feelings do not want us to believe them. They just want us to notice, see, and love them. Like, you know, if you had a child crying, you wouldn't like buy into it, but you'd love it and hold it.

[00:21:08] Same thing.

[00:21:09] sarah: [00:21:09] Yeah.

[00:21:09] dane: [00:21:09] Well, why difficult money? Difficult money. Okay, I need to give myself more permission. That's ignoring the crying child inside of you. Just hold it and all of a sudden permission is like, you're like, wait, what was I doing? So let's try and go back to it. Just try and say, you know what? I love money too.

[00:21:25] sarah: [00:21:25] I see love money.

[00:21:27] dane: [00:21:27] It may not be immediate, but does it feel a little different than it did before?

[00:21:31] sarah: [00:21:31] It does. It does.

[00:21:32] dane: [00:21:32] Tell me the difference

[00:21:34] sarah: [00:21:34] in, and there's like an edge to your words when they, for whatever reason, don't ring true and it has less of an

[00:21:40] dane: [00:21:40] edge. Yeah. You still feel a little uncomfortable.

[00:21:43] sarah: [00:21:43] Sure.

[00:21:44] dane: [00:21:44] There was a little chuckle after it. I love money and then I'll ha

[00:21:47] sarah: [00:21:47] yeah,

[00:21:48] dane: [00:21:48] right. Cause we're rebuilding something. I think so. It was like the first rep, your arms are shaky with the weight. That's cool.

[00:21:58] sarah: [00:21:58] Try it again. I love [00:22:00] money. I really do love everything that it brings me and my family and what it can do for the world.

[00:22:07] dane: [00:22:07] How much do you believe yourself?

[00:22:09] sarah: [00:22:09] When I cut those qualifiers in it, it helps a lot. I know that it's going to take a little work.

[00:22:14] dane: [00:22:14] And what kind of work will it take? No, no. You know, like it takes working with the unconscious feelings, so it takes feeling the difficulty, not just repetition. So we say, man, I love money.

[00:22:32] It's so nice when it comes in. Oh, I feel so good when people give me money. Oh, Nope. I was good up until when people give me money, as soon as I say, when people give me money, I felt my heart close, so I let my heart flows and I'd be with the heart close and then I hear a voice, you're too worthless. Dane.

[00:22:52] So then as a thought, I hold that and now I start to feel the desire to weak, and I hold that now my belly is actually swirling my mouth. I just want you to saliva coming into it, and I allow that now. My heart's starting to want to break open. I allow that now. I feel overwhelmed and resistant. And I allow that now.

[00:23:16] I feel shocked that anyone would ever want to give me money. No, no, I don't. I just feel why is the money being given to me? What's going on? And I hold that. I feel a desire to fix it. No, no danger giving value. I feel a desire to try to correct it. So instead of actually trying to correct it, I just hold the desire to correct it without acting on it.

[00:23:36] And I hold that and now all of a sudden I just popped into his face of more relaxation. I love it when people give me money. Ooh, I feel a thorn in my heart instead of my heart closing, I allow the thorn. I hear a voice that says, you're sharing too much on this episode. I hold that. I don't want anyone to know.

[00:23:55] I struggle. My heart really starts to hurt. No, I [00:24:00] call it hurt. I'm panicking. I'm panicking a lot. I hold that. I hear the words, you're an idiot. You're an idiot. Oh, all that. And I hold it real, but not true. Real, but not true. My back heats up. I hold that.

[00:24:26] It all passes. I come into calm, I feel thank God, and I hold that and I go back, Oh, I pop into a space of like, I'm buzzing. I'm clear. I hold that every experience I can hold every thought I can hold. And now I say I love it when people give me money. Whoa. Hey, now be careful saying stuff like that. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.

[00:24:56] Don't let anybody see you taking money. Hi, hold that.

[00:25:05] If you'd like to learn how to make money and you need a path to do it, visit start from zero.com and you'll see a whole context of how you can actually get started. There's a three phase process that you can go through. If you're a beginner, intermediate, or advanced, go there. It'll tell you exactly what to do, where to go, and how to get started, and you don't need money for some of the options.

[00:25:26] And if you do have money, you can buy some of the other options. It's all laid out for you with crystal clear clarity@startfromzero.com where do you go and what do you do? You'll find out there.

[00:25:42] Then I feel the earnest desire, but I want to take money and you can feel my voice getting younger and I hold that. If I take money, then I can give it away. I wonder if I'm trying to present myself as a good person. I hold that. I feel a desire to rush and get through this exercise. I [00:26:00] hold that. I feel confused what I'm even doing.

[00:26:05] I hold that. I can feel I'm trying to fix something. I hold that my heartaches, there's a lot of money I've rejected in my life, Sarah, a lot. I've made millions of dollars and I gave and spent a lot on teams. I didn't hold it very well cause you know what? I don't love when money comes in. I struggle when money comes in.

[00:26:29] So I put a break on it and I stopped growing my company. It seems impressive to other people. Oh, a million dollars. Want you to know is inside struggle. So I hold that so my hearts Tinder. So that was all very real. And now the next time I receive money, it's going to be a whole new experience.

[00:26:49] sarah: [00:26:49] That's really powerful.

[00:26:51] dane: [00:26:51] Oh God. I was so worried of being judged and you know what I can do with that is hold that.

[00:26:55] sarah: [00:26:55] Not at all. I was right there. Oh,

[00:26:57] dane: [00:26:57] thank you. Yeah. I have a heart too. I built a very strong intellect because of, well, who cares? I built a strong intellect. This to me, what I just embodied, it takes a practice and it takes skill.

[00:27:12] It's not like, cause you're going to bump into things that you really don't want to allow, and so you just practice allowing the, not allowing. And before long, you realize you could hold every experience when your problems really do start disappearing. Like they vanish and then you're like, wait, I better create some problems.

[00:27:35] There's no promise here. Hold on, let me start a fight with my girlfriend,

[00:27:38] sarah: [00:27:38] whatever. Whenever there's not a problem, I start panicking. I'm like, wait, everything's perfect.

[00:27:42] dane: [00:27:42] Try this. Try saying this, whenever there's a problem, an aspect of my identity starts to panic, but deep down I'm still okay. Try say something like that.

[00:27:53] Try and start to dissociate it from being you.

[00:27:55] sarah: [00:27:55] Whenever there's not a problem, some part of who I am always [00:28:00] panics or tries to panic, throw a linchpin in something or makes me find law, or what I'm really big into unfortunately is going through all of the things that could go wrong and we playing those over and over.

[00:28:19] dane: [00:28:19] And that's another part of you. It's not, you know, it's an identity. You hold a character you have within you that does that, but that is not you. So try and say an aspect of myself. Does that.

[00:28:30] sarah: [00:28:30] An aspect of myself constantly goes through worst case scenarios.

[00:28:36] dane: [00:28:36] What's happening in your brain as you say that?

[00:28:38] sarah: [00:28:38] You know, it's funny, as I always, it's never felt like a real part of me. What happens though is I know it's me, it's part of me, but it always feels separate from me, and I think that. Acknowledging that holding that pushes that further. I don't know. It makes it, it just makes sense.

[00:28:59] dane: [00:28:59] Do you want to welcome that part of you in like the best fast way to do this is a shortcut is to find the worst thing and make friends with it because then all the other ones are like much easier.

[00:29:11] What's the worst thing that you could make friends with right now?

[00:29:14] sarah: [00:29:14] I think the doubt that leads to an action. So it's really that whole

[00:29:18] dane: [00:29:18] pause. Let's keep it simple. The doubt that leads to an action. Make friends with that doubt, right? No,

[00:29:26] sarah: [00:29:26] it's been my constant companion for a long time. Sober acquaintance.

[00:29:31] dane: [00:29:31] What's it like to actually be friended instead of let it run the show, or if it wants to run the show, be friend at while it's running the show, but like, what's it like to actually meet it like a friend instead of try to. Get a license or a certification or designation or gain business knowledge to deal with the doubt, instead of trying to fix the doubt.

[00:29:50] What is it like to just allow it to be friended? Good job,

[00:29:57] sarah: [00:29:57] and I don't know that I feel apprehensive necessarily. It's just, [00:30:00] it's scary. More than gear. Is that a thing?

[00:30:02] dane: [00:30:02] Yes. Yes. Your experience is perfectly real. So you're having sorts of scary and then you're right there. You were having an experience of questioning if it was the right experience, you're like scary.

[00:30:12] And so then you're like, wait, is this fearful, scary hold that that you're questioning whether you're having the right experience. She's not wild

[00:30:20] sarah: [00:30:20] a tendency or an aspect of myself. That's a tendency to question everything. I think now.

[00:30:25] dane: [00:30:25] You better be careful. You're going to rip into freedom a lot quicker

[00:30:29] sarah: [00:30:29] and things ring true.

[00:30:30] They catch on quick with me usually.

[00:30:33] dane: [00:30:33] That's good. So go back to this doubt and like friend it feel the scary feel that you're questioning if it's the right experience. Hold it all as a friend.

[00:30:42] sarah: [00:30:42] My heart's definitely been racing, but it's been racing since. I think I kind of traveled with you through your experience too.

[00:30:48] dane: [00:30:48] Wonderful. Be with, yeah, allow. Be with

[00:30:52] sarah: [00:30:52] me. Big thing that keeps coming through is just expression. And I think, you know, all these things that we've discussed have been sort of inside, and I don't, you know, that whole idea of permission, I didn't feel like I had permission to let me explore and me do the things that I want to do.

[00:31:07] So in the doubt, you probably

[00:31:08] dane: [00:31:08] haven't had that permission because that's probably a very tender part of your conditioning that you'll need to give permission to now. By allowing the experience, give permission to the experience, even if you don't want to, I don't want to get permission to it. Then just give permission to the, no,

[00:31:25] sarah: [00:31:25] I got my Palm setting

[00:31:27] dane: [00:31:27] as welcome.

[00:31:30] You give yourself permission and you do it by giving permission to the experience you're feeling, even if you don't want to. Then you just give permission to the know. Next time you feel doubt, permission hello and feel it, and now consider something radical. Your desire to fix the doubt is not a problem.

[00:31:49] It's okay. In fact, it's very human. It's like, Oh, there's doubt. Let's try to read a book. But now, you know, is to correct doubt. And now when you know you're trying to correct a feeling that you can [00:32:00] back up and be friend, the feeling. So when you started to befriend doubt, do you notice how it started to feel scary?

[00:32:06] Okay. Consider that that feeling was so uncomfortable that you didn't want to actually feel the doubt. So you tried to fix it. So fixing the doubt you think will actually fix it. But what it's doing is it's preventing you from actually feeling the discomfort of it. Very innocent. Your mind hasn't been taught and trained.

[00:32:26] Actually, it knows. It knows how to, as a child, you feel something. You have no judgment of it. You feel it, you're done. But now you've been trained against yourself.

[00:32:34] sarah: [00:32:34] Yeah. We learned on these little coping mechanisms.

[00:32:36] dane: [00:32:36] Yeah. So now we retrain your brain to just allow the every experience, especially the, no, it feels like I'm missing something.

[00:32:43] I just want to say that.

[00:32:45] sarah: [00:32:45] I don't know. I mean, I think that's coming into this, I was curious to know where we would go and how this would, where this the lead, and this is definitely not wet. I was prepared or expected, but in a very positive way. But I think it's good. I think it's what I needed as I approached this next spot.

[00:33:02] I think I still need to a lot of work and decisions that still need to get made, but I do feel like I can be more confident in with them with some of these tools.

[00:33:16] dane: [00:33:16] Yes, and there's really plenty of other episodes on the podcast. You can listen to it and get the business knowledge. I had a guest that your questions were coming from a certain place that if I answered.

[00:33:27] The thing that was asking wouldn't be resolved fully. So now like your palms are getting sweaty and like you're working with these energies now, when you learn this business knowledge, it's going to be for the beauty of the expression of your soul.

[00:33:42] sarah: [00:33:42] Yeah. You're like a really speaking to what? I think it's always just been what I, that's what I want.

[00:33:47] I feel like there's a bigger purpose and I feel like it's interesting that you use the word ache to describe, you know, the bigger purpose. Cause I think so many people call it a calling or a yearning, but it's always felt kind of an like an [00:34:00] ache to me. Just seeing the ease that way. I think that comes from not doing it.

[00:34:04] I think the ache, you know, continued.

[00:34:10] dane: [00:34:10] Well, there's a quote that's very powerful. It says, if you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

[00:34:18] sarah: [00:34:18] It makes so much sense.

[00:34:22] dane: [00:34:22] Yeah. That's from a book called the great work of your life as a phenomenal book work of your life. Yeah. I'll put a link to it and there's a page and he goes, start from zero.com forward slash, all N, a.

[00:34:33] L, L. I. N. I'll get you the link to the correct book on that page. I've got a list of all the good books to read on that page. All the good courses that you could buy if you need to, and all the good software tools that you want to learn to become acquainted with and. If you were all in, like if you stop looking for one book, one course, one method, one means of success, and just went all in, what would that look like?

[00:34:54] And that's what that page demonstrates. And so I'll, I'll put that book on there as a important read because it turns on the soul in a way that can't turn off. I

[00:35:02] sarah: [00:35:02] think that's actually a book on the list of things when you're looking at discernment, if you want to go into priesthood, because I think I've seen it before.

[00:35:12] dane: [00:35:12] It's a work of art. The books, a work of art. Good job today. Do you have anything else? Any other questions?

[00:35:18] sarah: [00:35:18] No. Thank you and thank you for being vulnerable with me. I feel really honored to have been a part of that and I appreciate you taking the time with me today. I think it was really powerful.

[00:35:27] dane: [00:35:27] You're welcome.

[00:35:27] I completely believe in you.

[00:35:29] sarah: [00:35:29] Okay. Good

[00:35:31] dane: [00:35:31] job. So for years people have been asking me, what's the big secret? How do I do this? And the answer is simple. My life took off when I had mentors. Too many people try to do this stuff alone and get stuck and give up. Listen, if you haven't succeeded in business or entrepreneurship yet, it's simple.

[00:35:48] You haven't failed enough yet. You haven't been around enough mentors yet. If you combine failure with mentorship, you will fly. I someone say, why are so many people so more successful than me? How come [00:36:00] I can't get this right? And they said, well, how many times you failed? He's like, wow. A lot of times I'm like, have you failed more than 10 times?

[00:36:05] He said, no. I was like, you haven't failed enough yet. You haven't been around mentors enough. Yes, failure is how you learn. Michael Jordan has missed so many game winning shots. You've got to get out there and fail and how are you going to do that if you're all by yourself, all alone, beating yourself up in your own thoughts?

[00:36:20] Listen, I'm going to give you access to my board of advisors, my board of advisors that I talk to sometimes every day. I'm going to give you access to them every month. Live free to ask questions and get your mindset on straight. They're going to ask you questions that are hard for you to answer. Those are the kinds of people you want in your life.

[00:36:37] You're also gonna get access to not only the board of advisors, but my entire community, the start from zero community, all the entrepreneurs that are practicing these things, building these businesses. You'll get access to this community and miss board of advisors and much more with the new program we've launched called start from zero.com forward slash starters and you can see how you can get access to it.

[00:36:59] My board of advisors and ask them anything you want monthly, you'll get automated accountability to stay focused. You get a community of other people, all building businesses with the start from zero methodology. And guess what? You get kicked out of this community if you do not take action. So it is serious people.

[00:37:16] So if you'd like access to that information about that, go to start from zero.com forward slash starters and it's about time that we get together and strengthen each other and fail together and pick each other back up to. Together and show each other each other's blind spots and ask the hard questions and drive each other to that golden finish line of a business that you don't have to work in a business that provides freedom.

[00:37:40] So you can sit around on a Tuesday and watch HBO if you want. All right, start from zero.com forward slash starters. [00:38:00]