Lesbianism, radical self-care, a nurturing marriage with kink dynamics, and a sex-inclusive love of romance novels—Elizabeth shares stories of self-discovery and how it led to a marriage that embraces submission, pleasure, and mutual growth.
00:00 What she loves about romance novels and the importance of feeling chosen
05:54 Reflections on asexual relationships and knowing what kind of sexual connection she needs
08:36 How her wife’s grand romantic gestures help her feel seen and appreciated
12:55 Discovering the perks of a mutually “selfish” marriage
15:02 Figuring out how to romance her wife with enthusiastic support
19:35 Building trust through consistent, conscientious care and deep gratitude
22:16 Polyamory almost-explorations and why she doesn’t recommend serial monogamy
24:46 How transitioning led to more communicative and emotionally present relationships
27:49 Finding space for solo time to enjoy romance novels, old sci-fi, and TTRPGs
31:08 Experiencing constant crushes and being open to relationships unfolding naturally
35:18 How physical safety allows her to take big emotional risks during sex
36:48 Self-censorship and the value of privacy
44:36 Discovering the rhythms of a stable relationship and exploring submissive fantasies
48:34 The sexual effects of transitioning from testosterone to estrogen
50:56 Early fact-based book learnings and how her masturbation practices have changed
55:48 Experiencing urgent gender feelings and when she stopped following the heteronormative script of p-in-v sex
59:01 Lesbian "Bed death" and how her first time with another queer partner helped her break sexual patterns
1:03:39 How kink allows her asexual wife to enthusiastically engage in sex
1:07:05 Why she needed to understand her lesbianism before she transitioned
1:10:18 How Buffy the Vampire Slayer inspired her gender journey
1:12:51 Relaxing into the safety of submission: edging, hypnosis, and anal
1:16:12 Her favorite ways to dirty talk and receive impact play
1:20:11 Building stability: artistically, socially, and professionally
1:22:47 Playing with strap-ons and supporting her wife in receiving
1:24:51 The societal importance of loving and helping men
1:28:01 Spreading love with genuine curiosity and small acts of kindness that help people feel chosen
📈 STATS | 39 lesbian white trans woman, she/her pronouns, submissive, monogamous, married to partner of four years, into: D/s, impact play, hypnosis, role play, TTRPGs, game design, writing, romance novels
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