How to Choose Optimism Every Day in This World

I was always looking for perfection, the perfect body, the perfect look. So hard brother that I disconnected from my human side. At 17, I was going off in all kinds of substances to numb myself out. But at the end, I was just numbing my human is I had stuffed for so many years. That lesson taught me: Let me be real, let me be vulnerable, let me accept all these parts of me that I don't even want to accept because I think I'm here and I want to be here, but I'm not looking at here.