When to Stay and When to Leave

Welcome to a new episode of The Way Out Is In: The Zen Art of Living, a podcast series mirroring Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh’s deep teachings of Buddhist philosophy: a simple yet profound methodology for dealing with our suffering, and for creating more happiness and joy in our lives.

This special episode – part one of two question-and-response (Q&R) installments – commemorates the publication of the second book by Zen Buddhist monk Brother Phap Huu and leadership coach Jo Confino, which was published earlier this year. Calm in the Storm: Zen Ways to Cultivate Stability in an Anxious World is intended to help readers meet the current polycrisis with stability and resilience, but also forcefulness and love. 

According to Plum Village tradition, Jo and Brother Phap Huu recorded two episodes that respond to listeners’ questions which connect to the book’s themes – from balancing kindness and anger in challenging times to staying compassionate with a world where there’s little deep listening; how to best support young people; caring for oneself while serving others; and much more.

Enjoy! 

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List of resources

Pilgrimage: ‘In the Footsteps of the Buddha’
https://plumvillage.org/event/pilgrimage/in-the-footsteps-of-the-buddha-2

Being with Busyness: Zen Ways to Transform Overwhelm and Burnout
https://www.parallax.org/product/being-with-busyness/   

Calm in the Storm: Zen Ways to Cultivate Stability in an Anxious World
https://www.parallax.org/product/calm-in-the-storm/ 

Interbeing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interbeing  

The Order of Interbeing
https://plumvillage.org/community/order-of-interbeing 

Plum Village Tradition
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plum_Village_Tradition 

The Way Out Is In: ‘The Three Jewels (Episode #89)’
https://plumvillage.org/podcast/the-three-jewels-episode-89

Sister Chan Dieu Nghiem (Sister Jina) https://plumvillage.org/people/dharma-teachers/sr-dieu-nghiem 

Dharma Talks: ‘The Five Skandhas of Grasping and Non-Self​’
https://plumvillage.org/library/dharma-talks/the-five-skandhas-of-grasping-and-non-self%E2%80%8B-dharma-talk-by-br-phap-lai-2018-06-08

The Way Out Is In: ‘Joanna Macy’s Message of Hope’ https://plumvillage.org/podcast/joanna-macys-message-of-hope 

The Way Out Is In: ‘Active Hope: The Wisdom of Joanna Macy (Episode #25)’
https://plumvillage.org/podcast/active-hope-the-wisdom-of-joanna-macy-episode-25

The Way Out Is In: ‘Grief and Joy on a Planet in Crisis: Joanna Macy on the Best Time to Be Alive (Episode #12)’
https://plumvillage.org/podcast/grief-and-joy-on-a-planet-in-crisis-joanna-macy-on-the-best-time-to-be-alive-episode-12

‘Three Resources Explaining the Plum Village Tradition of Lazy Days’
https://plumvillage.app/three-resources-explaining-the-plum-village-tradition-of-lazy-days/ 

Śāriputra 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%9A%C4%81riputra

Rāhula
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C4%81hula

How To: ‘Begin Anew’
https://plumvillage.org/articles/begin-anew

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Quotes

“Do we control the world? We’re controlling our actions, if we’re mindful. But most of us let our actions control us. We let worry control us; we let the news control us; we let fake news control us; we let stories control us. We let energies that may be untrue control us.” 

“We have to have the ability to generate joy and to be in touch with simple happiness and, even in moments of bitterness and difficulty, to come back to the present moment and ask the question, ‘What am I grateful for? What things surrounding me can I devote myself to, because I’m grateful for them?’”

“Thay always reminded us to take joy and happiness seriously, and, in our modern times, people who come to Buddhism and spirituality, in particular, become allergic to the words ‘happiness’ and ‘love’ and ‘smiles’ because they’re not celebrated enough in the world. Because it looks too hippie-dippie. They seem too easy, in a way. But knowing that joy is always accessible is enlightenment, is healing, is love.”

“Each and every one of us, when we start the journey of practice, really have to take seriously how to generate joy every day, with no exceptions. Don’t take it for granted.”

“Compassion is the foundation for not burning out, for not becoming hateful, for not becoming toxic. It is the foundation of understanding and love.”

“When you don’t have enough joy, lean into other people’s joy. You’re not alone.”

“The whole purpose of mindfulness is to more deeply understand ourselves, and then to more deeply understand how we relate to the world.”

“When you know how to listen, you’re already a teacher in the dharma – not through your spoken words, but through your way of just being. So don’t underestimate the practice of deep listening, because that can open the doors to people’s hearts as well as allowing them to touch healing. Because deep listening allows us to be vulnerable; it allows us to cry the tears that need to be shed to water our fields of pain and our seeds of love, understanding, and kindness. That is all deep listening; meditation is deep listening.”

“Wherever there is darkness, light is already there, because the two coexists – and wherever there is light, there is darkness.” 

“Accept despair and let it deeply touch and tenderize your heart. Because that’s what despair can do. Rather than seeing it as “the end of a journey, see it as something we touch deeply and which can begin a new journey.”

“There’s something about taking the longer view and recognizing the great arc of time and not becoming so caught up in this moment, as though it’s the only moment. Recognize that life will continue in many forms, and trust in that.”

“We have to use both wings of meditation – stopping and looking deeply – in every crisis that we find ourselves in or find ourselves facing.”