Navigating the Shadows of Caretaking: Understanding Needs and Self-Care

This week on The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast I’m exploring a delicate identity that many people carry without ever naming: the wounded caretaker. Inspired by a social media trend that says, “I probably just needed a hug, so I became a therapist,” this episode takes a deep dive into the lifelong emotional patterns that develop when we’re asked to care for others before we’re ready…and before we've been cared for ourselves. 

In this episode, I unpack the concept of parentification - when a child is placed in the role of caretaker, whether emotionally or physically, and what that does to their developing sense of self. Through the archetype of the ⁠Queen of Pentacles⁠, we examine how this card (often celebrated for her nurturing energy) can also hold shadow traits of burnout, over-functioning, and self-neglect. I explore how tarot archetypes like the Ten of Wands, Page of Cups, Six of Pentacles, The Devil, and The Star offer a rich map for understanding the cycle of exhaustion, grief, and hidden hopes of those who were taught to meet everyone else’s needs and neglect their own.

I also bring in psychological research and frameworks like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and attachment theory to illustrate how the identity of the helper often masks a quiet desperation to be held, seen, and nurtured. This episode is dedicated to those of you who have always been the “strong one,” the “go-to” person, or the “emotional rock” and who might be quietly wondering: But when will someone take care of me?

And just a quick note before we dive in: the phrase “we’re all wounded healers” is often attributed to Carl Jung, who did explore the idea that healing often stems from our own pain. That said, the exact quote has been credited to several different folks over time. The first time I heard it was back in 2009, when I was taking classes to become a certified domestic violence counselor, and honestly, it was one of the most validating phrases I had ever heard. It gave me permission to keep moving forward in the healing profession, knowing that I didn’t need to be fully healed to help others. That nuance really sits at the heart of today’s conversation.

✨ If you’ve ever felt resentful after giving too much, struggled to ask for help, or found your sense of worth tangled up in how useful you are to others, this episode will speak directly to that wound. I also offer journal prompts, card pulls, and strategies to help you begin the healing process…so you can learn to care for yourself with the same devotion you've shown others.

💔 Remember, you’re not selfish for having needs. You’re human. And it’s time to include yourself in the circle of care.

Deck Used: Joie de Vivre

Study Referenced: Hooper, Lisa. (2008). Defining and Understanding Parentification: Implications for All Counselors. Alabama Counseling Association Journal. 34. 34-43.

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