What's an Ultimatum?

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Sometimes a boundary can include a consequence or even an ultimatum. If I've clearly expressed my limit, Eric, we don't allow smoking in the house. Would you please put that figure out or go outside? And the 10th time you come over and try to light up a cigarette, I'm going to escort you out myself. That's not a kind way to share a limit. But if it did, you kind of passive aggressively addressing it and just acting put out and uncomfortable without being clear about the what and the why behind it.

This week I was excited to speak with Melissa Urban about her new book, The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free. Melissa and I had an extremely insightful conversation about how setting healthy boundaries with family members, co-workers, friends and even yourself can transform your relationships, eliminate stress and improve your daily outlook.

In this chat, Melissa breaks down the vital steps towards identifying if a boundary needs to be set and the three unique levels of instituting a boundary with both honesty and kindness. Oftentimes we can think of boundaries as barriers towards achieving authentic relationships. Melissa is here to reveal why the exact opposite is the case and how when implemented properly boundaries can help save relationships and strengthen bonds.

Melissa Urban is a six-time New York Times bestselling author and has been featured by Good Morning America, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and CNBC. She is based in Salt Lake City.

Melissa is the co-founder of Whole30. Since launching the mega-bestselling wellness program, she has taught millions of people how to establish healthy habits and how to deal with pushback and peer pressure.

Melissa’s Latest Book: The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

Connect with Melissa on Twitter and Instagram

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