I think probably in my teens some of it was like gender stuff and and just feeling weird in my body. Then I'm sure stuff at home and then wanting to be cool and this all these older friends  and then once I had a sort of bad damaging relationship with some older person then you're really sad after that. It's an ongoing thing but yeah massive disparity between how I feel and how I'm perceived now there is no way to talk about it. There has been top surgery on me recently so that's an improvement but it's still not evenit's still not greatYeah we slipped backwards because the 70s very androgynous very cool but that’s right