Control Is Often Caused by Fear

2min Snip

00:00

Play full episode

Summary

Transcript

Episode notes

I thought it was interesting that one of the things you mentioned in the book is that control is often caused by fear. It's really our brain trying to protect us. We evolved as humans to stay alive, originally not to get eaten. And when we feel that things are uncertain and scary, i.e. we're not in control, all of those hormones kick in. So we learn along the way coping mechanisms, right? Control is really a coping mechanism a lot of us have when we get super, super anxious because things feel very uncertain and possibly bad or scary.

Morra Aarons-Mele: The Anxious Achiever Morra Aarons-Mele is the host of The Anxious Achiever, a top-10 management podcast that helps people rethink the relationship between their mental health and their leadership. Morra founded Women Online and The Mission List, an award-winning digital-consulting firm and influencer marketing company dedicated to social change, in 2010 and sold her business in 2021. She helped Hillary Clinton log on for her first internet chat and has launched digital campaigns for President Obama, Malala Yousafzai, the United Nations, the CDC, and many other leading figures and organizations. She is the author of The Anxious Achiever: Turn Your Biggest Fears into Your Leadership Superpower*. In this conversation, Morra and I discuss some key tactics that help leaders release just a bit of control. Since control is often driven by fear, we can let go of some control by making small shifts in our practices, awareness, and planning. We also explore how to set boundaries that will help us lead in ways that are more helpful to others — and ourselves. Key Points Control is often caused by fear. Optimism can be a bit of an antidote to it. Adopt a practice mindset by making small shifts to endure uncomfortable things. Practice open awareness throughs surrender; the opposite of controlling and micromanaging. Get clear on scheduling, deadlines, longer term career goals. Those provide a healthy illusion of control. Create a distinction between having an emotion and being the emotion. Begin setting boundaries by noticing when you are moving from comfort to discomfort. Resources Mentioned The Anxious Achiever: Turn Your Biggest Fears into Your Leadership Superpower* by Morra Aarons-Mele The Anxious Achiever podcast Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes Four Steps to Get Unstuck and Embrace Change, with Susan David (episode 297) Effective Delegation of Authority, with Hassan Osman (episode 413) Align Your Calendar to What Matters, with Nir Eyal (episode 431) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.