Do You Know How Much of the Behavior Is the Right Appropriate?

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If you want to get to real repair with the other person where they actually trust you in a full complete way, you really cannot do a lot of legislation about how frequently you are allowed to fill in the blank. It's almost impossible to extinguish the reactivity of A to be doing that because then also A is always on pins and needles at what B might do next at the next time. And going to zero and being completely trustworthy about that and giving the other person assurances isn't trying to placate them, but just because you're really sincere.

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners related to how we can build better relationships (particularly with our families) and deal with difficult people. They explore the common traits of happy families, how to deal with people who weaponize psychological jargon, navigating different perceptions of “what happened,” and repairing a damaged relationship with a child. Forrest ends the conversation by talking about the importance of “going to zero” after a breach of trust.

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Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:00: Question 1: Common characteristics of happy families

8:25: Differentiation and integration

10:55: Symptoms of a less healthy family system

12:15: The role of love

19:55: Question 2: What to do when people use psychological jargon during a conflict

26:00: Defending yourself effectively, and staying on topic

30:50: Question 3: Navigating different perceptions of a difficult event

35:45: Question 4: Healing a strained relationship with a child (or parent)

39:45: Functional repair before emotional vulnerability

46:45: “Going to zero” with behavior when repair is needed

56:10: Recap

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