The Preakness Is Coming Up in Two Days

There's a horse running in the Kentucky Durbian named Mage. He was 15 to 1, so like if dad had juice on Mage, he's living on this fucking edge. The preakness is after the Derby, because it feels like the Derby is like the big one, right? I don't really know how you do it. You get hopped up on juleps. Oh shit, slept through the race. Who won? Horse did? Great. Julep, round three. Now you're in the shadow Derby, which is where they make the horses fight each other for corn. With knives. And they call it rich person beblades.