Adoption and Nonfinite Grief in Identity Discovery

Welcome to another episode of ADHD-ish! In this thought-provoking conversation, host Diann Wingert is joined by neurodivergent leadership coach Ron Sosa for an in-depth conversation on neurodiversity, intersectionality, and authenticity. 

Together, they explore the complex ways our overlapping identities, including neurodivergence, sexuality, race, and disability, shape how we experience the world and present ourselves to others. 

Ron shares his personal journey navigating multiple identities, including being a white, gay, hard-of-hearing man with both ADHD and autism, and opens up about the nuanced decisions behind which identities he chooses to “lead with” in different settings.

The episode delves into real-life challenges like masking, passing, and code-switching, examining how these adaptive behaviors can be both empowering and exhausting—depending on whether they’re chosen or enforced out of necessity. 

Diann and Ron discuss the complicated layer of “family secrets”, the constant mental calculations neurodivergent and marginalized individuals make around safety and acceptance, and offer powerful insights about reclaiming agency in how we self-identify. 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• How Identities Stack and Interact: Ron walks us through how he thinks about and organizes his different identities—ADHD, autistic, white male, gay, and hard of hearing—and the personal and social factors that influence which aspects he shares in different situations.
• Navigating Safety and Disclosure: The conversation highlights the calculation involved in deciding which identity to disclose, considering factors like safety, context, and anticipated reactions from others.
• Invisible and Visible Disabilities: Ron shares honest experiences about masking, particularly with his hearing impairment, and the additional challenges posed by disabilities that are not immediately visible.
• Masking as Tool vs. Survival Mechanism: Diann and Ron discuss the difference between masking as a conscious, empowering choice and masking as a depleting necessity, including how the need to “pass” or “camouflage” can both protect and exhaust someone with multiple marginalized identities.
• Passing, Code-Switching, and Camouflage: The benefits and drawbacks of being able to “pass” in certain environments, including the emotional toll and moments of empowerment when one can choose how and when to reveal their authentic self.

Guest Bio:

Ron Sosa is a neurodivergent, gay, hard-of-hearing leader who has walked unconventional paths through veterinary medicine, coaching, and leadership development. From the client service desk to executive roles, his story isn’t linear, and that's a testament to resilience, reinvention, and radical empathy.

Too many leaders feel like they’re wearing a mask and are exhausted from trying to fit into outdated expectations. They’re stuck managing overwhelm, struggling with conflict, and questioning whether they belong in leadership at all. They are not broken; the system is. Ron helps leaders unlearn what leadership “should” look like and rebuild from a place of clarity, confidence, and alignment with their neurotype, values, and rhythm through Syn-APT Neuroinclusive Leadership.

Find Ron Sosa online:

Website  -  LinkedIn 

Mentioned during the episode:

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' Stages of Grief model

The movie “Rainman” & how our views of autism have changed 

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Can’t get enough of insights from other neurodivergent experts? 

Join Meredith Carder, Jesse J Anderson, Tayla Blair, Alice Draper and me for a FREE live roundtable discussion on “Visibility & Branding with ADHD” - October 15th at 9 AM Pacific/ 12 PM Eastern. 

Register NOW to attend LIVE or watch the replay! 

Ever wish you had been diagnosed with ADHD sooner? Want to open up a conversation about ADHD with your daughter, mother, or niece?  Get your FREE copy of “Letters to My Younger Self” (22 letters from ADHD experts, including ME!)  https://findtheadhdgirls.org/repository/

© 2025 ADHD-ish Podcast. Intro music by Ishan Dincer / Melody Loops  / Outro music by Vladimir /  Bobi Music / All rights reserved.