
Be Beautiful, Be Yourself (Episode #50)
The Way Out Is In
Intro
This chapter explores the difficulties of personal transformation, focusing on the emotional shift from self-compassion to self-loathing. Through the metaphor of tangerine meditation, the speakers underscore the significance of mindfulness and acceptance in recognizing life's miracles amidst the challenges of growth.
Welcome to episode 50 of The Way Out Is In: The Zen Art of Living, a podcast series mirroring Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanhās deep teachings of Buddhist philosophy: a simple yet profound methodology for dealing with our suffering, and for creating more happiness and joy in our lives.
In this episode, Zen Buddhist monk Brother Phap Huu and leadership coach and journalist Jo Confino contemplate how to find compassion for ourselves ā even when we feel stuck and unable to move forward, and know what to do but enter self-loathing rather than self-compassion. Together, they discuss what it is to love ourselves and what a difference it can make. Plus, why is it so difficult to change? What should we be mindful of? And what is love to us?
Brother Phap Huu further considers how helpful insights can blossom; attaining new views of growth in spirituality; unconditional love; what it is to be stuck and how to unstick ourselves; āstrivingā energy, perceptions, and aspirations; creating new stories; and acceptance.
Jo starts with a confession before sharing about epiphanies; times when oneās story is more important than oneās happiness; self-worth; cultivating change at the edges; and mindful reminders.
The episode ends with a short meditation guided by Brother Phap Huu.
Enjoy!
Co-produced by the Plum Village App:
https://plumvillage.app/
And Global Optimism:
https://globaloptimism.com/
With support from the Thich Nhat Hanh Foundation:
https://thichnhathanhfoundation.org/
List of resources
Sister True Dedication
https://plumvillage.org/people/dharma-teachers/sister-hien-nghiem/
āTangerine Meditationā
https://plumvillage.org/library/clips/tangerine-meditation/
Sister Jina
https://plumvillage.org/people/dharma-teachers/sr-dieu-nghiem/
Saį¹sÄra
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sa%E1%B9%83s%C4%81ra_(Buddhism)
Krishna Das
https://www.krishnadas.com/
The Miracle of Mindfulness
https://plumvillage.org/books/the-miracle-of-mindfulness/
The Heart of the Buddhaās Teaching
https://plumvillage.org/books/the-heart-of-the-buddhas-teaching/
Dharma Talks: āTrue Love and the Four Noble Truthsā
https://plumvillage.org/library/dharma-talks/true-love-and-the-four-noble-truths/
The Four Noble Truths
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy-RI3FrdGA
Dharma Talks: āThe Noble Eightfold Pathā
https://plumvillage.org/library/dharma-talks/the-noble-eightfold-path/
Quotes
āPeace in oneself, peace in the world.ā
āWhen I know that I donāt hate myself, love is already there. And acceptance is a part of love.ā
āMindfulness is the opposite of forgetfulness, and love is the opposite of hatred.ā
āAfter one of Thich Nhat Hanhās talks, I said, āSister Jina, donāt you monastics get bored of Thay repeating the same thing over and over again? And doesnāt Thay get bored with repeating the same teachings over and over again?ā And she turned to me and said, āBut do we practice?āā
āBecause of our unmindful society, where thereās more forgetfulness and not enough awareness, love becomes something to gain. People are trying to gain love rather than to cultivate love within them, creating a lot of expectation around it. And when there is love, there is already a need. But in the practice of Buddhism, and in our practice, love should be unconditional.ā
āOur practice is to understand that love is a growing organic energy. But hatred is also an organic energy. So the first practice in mindfulness and in Buddhism has to start with oneself. And maybe that is the most painful start because, for some reason, itās easier to love others.ā
āMindfulness is light. Forgetfulness is the darkness. But the two rely on each other and can dance within each other.ā
āIf you have an empty bowl, then youāve got nothing to give. All you really want to do is fill your own bowl. But when your bowl is full and overflowing, it naturally leads to generosity.ā
āIn my own life, the moments of greatest transformation have been when Iāve stopped long enough for an insight to arise; what I refer to as an epiphany.ā
āNew forms of life tend to grow at the very edges of ecosystems, like the edges of estuaries where new life forms have space to develop. If they develop and get enough strength, then they come towards the center and become an established lifeform. And they sometimes become what canāt change. Then something else will grow at the edge and come into the center.ā
āThe Buddha said that we always have to check our perception of our reality and the reality that we want to achieve. And this is very different from aspiration.ā
āTo look into the past is also to educate, to learn, and to have insight. So insight comes from awareness, and we have to have baby insight to have big insight.ā
āThay says sometimes our habits, our energies, are there for us to reflect on. If I donāt have striving energy, then maybe I donāt have any aspirations.ā