"I was so scared of being alone again, going back to being this just sheltered misunderstood person," he says. "My YouTube career, that's when streaming got ridiculous, like in terms of how bad it really got." Paul: I feel like now in hindsight that I was being gaslighted by my Reddit and I sounds fucking insane. But I think I was because they would upvote something. And then they would tell me they would up vote another post saying I'm a f***ing asshole for doing that".