Self-Care Hierarchy: Me, Us, Kids

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode, Emily sits down with volleyball legend Gabby Reece—professional athlete, podcast host of The Gabby Reece Show, entrepreneur—to talk about the unsexy truths that actually keep long-term relationships alive. Gabby pulls no punches as she reveals her controversial "48-hour sex rule," and how treating sex like going to the gym (just get your shoes on and show up) has sustained their passion for decades.

This conversation dismantles the romanticized version of marriage and replaces it with raw honesty about vulnerability, stoicism almost ending her relationship, and why "misogynists are bitches" but real masculinity is powerful, protective, and tender. Gabby shares her four rules for keeping an alpha male happy (hint: food and sex made the list), the farmer versus flower dynamic that prevents resentment, and why her self-care hierarchy puts herself first, her relationship second, and her kids third—unapologetically.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• The 48-hour sex rule works—scheduling sex isn't sexy, but it's sexier than one partner begging and the other constantly rejecting; Gabby and Laird have sex every other day, and she admits she strategically loads her calendar the day after because she "doesn't have to answer to anyone"

• Clear the decks daily to avoid divorce—Laird confronts everything immediately (every look, tone, word) so resentments never build; Gabby credits this practice with saving their marriage after years of her being too stoic nearly ended it

• Understanding the farmer vs. flower dynamic—sometimes one partner is in the spotlight (the flower) while the other supports (the farmer), and the roles switch; when one person is always the farmer, resentment builds and relationships suffer

• Real masculinity isn't misogyny—true masculine strength includes compassion, protection, and tenderness; we've trained men to feel bad about their masculinity, and bringing kindness (not anger) while setting boundaries helps everyone thrive

• You have the goods—ask for what you want—Gabby's advice to young women about sex is radical: stop performing, start demanding your pleasure, and remember that good sex is about mutual understanding, not just one person's orgasm

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).

• Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse.

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

This episode is sponsored by… 

Common Confidential  Use code SEXWITHEMILY! https://commonconfidential.com/s/sexwithemily

Bellesa 

"EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast"

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

1:21 - The Challenge of Bringing More Play Into Life

7:06 - 28 Years Together: Gabby's 3 Keys to a Strong Marriage

9:03 - Clear the Decks: Daily Communication That Saves Relationships

14:19 - Farmer vs Flower: Understanding Relationship Roles

22:48 - Why Self-Care Isn't Selfish (Especially for Moms)

28:34 - Lifting Weights: The Real Anti-Aging Secret for Women

29:04 - The 4 Rules for Keeping Your Partner Happy

39:18 - The 48-Hour Rule

42:26 - When You're Doing It for Them (And Why That's OK)

50:01 - Biggest Turn-Ons, Turn-Offs & Sex Advice for Young Women